How to Build Confidence (and Finally, Stick to Your New Fitness Habit)
Have you decided to start a new habit—like exercising—but you keep falling behind? Do you give up when things get tough? Does this whole idea of ”achieving goals” seem too difficult? Perhaps you have low self-efficacy. But don’t worry: self-efficacy can be developed with practice.
If you have low self-efficacy, you may feel unmotivated. You might do one or two workouts, but you see no point in continuing. Your goals seem far away, and what’s the point in working towards them anyway? Fortunately, self-efficacy has been studied by psychologists, and there’s a wealth of research on how to develop and maintain it.
What is self-efficacy?
Self-efficacy is a technical term for self-belief. Psychologists understand self-efficacy as related to the concept of confidence, but it’s not just unfounded overconfidence. It’s a feeling I’d describe as akin to determination. It’s linked to discipline and motivation.
When you have high self-esteem, you believe you can do it . Whatever it is. You may just be starting out on a long journey, but you know you’ll get there. You see obstacles along the way as small setbacks, not barriers. If you encounter a problem, you’ll find a way to overcome it. You simply know you can. These beliefs aren’t innate or the result of luck or miracles. You develop them over time, practice, and experience.
At the core of self-efficacy is the idea that you can control your actions and at least some of the things that happen around you. For example, if a snowstorm hits the day you planned to go to the gym, you don’t simply cancel your workout for the rest of the week. You can rearrange your schedule to go another day, or do a home workout, or simply remind yourself that your routine will remain in place and that your long-term plan is still in effect.
With that in mind, here are some ways that psychologists say help us develop self-confidence:
Build self-confidence by congratulating yourself on small victories.
Past successes are the fuel for future success . This applies to small things, like habits: if you manage to go to the gym once , it will be much easier to come back the second day. This also applies to larger projects. If you completed a program for beginner runners and “completed” it by running a 5K , that’s a huge success! You realized you can follow the program. You realized you can run further than you ever thought possible. You learned what it’s like to go out for a run when you’re tired and still finish. You learned the true feeling of satisfaction from reaching a goal at the finish line. And you can use all these memories and experiences anew when you start working on a new goal.
Another thing I like to do, especially when I’ve been struggling lately, is look for things I can be proud of along the way. I didn’t lift the 140-pound log at my last powerlifting competition, but I did lift 127 pounds in training, which is much more than I could have done in the beginning. My last half marathon wasn’t my best, but it was a strong effort on challenging terrain. On a smaller scale, I congratulate myself every time I get to the gym, even though I’ve almost talked myself out of it. I try to say it out loud, or write it in my training journal, or text my partner something like, “I trained today, and I’m glad I did.”
Motivate yourself by watching others succeed.
The second most important way, after reflecting on your own past experiences, is to experience the success of others. Choose your role models carefully; pay attention to those who truly inspire you.
For some, following the example of a world-class athlete can be a source of inspiration in the gym. For others, celebrities and Olympians may seem too unattainable, in which case it can be helpful to look up to someone closer to your skill level or experience. When your friend sets a new personal best in the deadlift, you’re going to cheer them on, right? Even if you haven’t touched the barbell yourself, you’ve still experienced the full range of emotions: from the excitement of the attempt to the celebration of success.
Look for people who support you.
Believing in yourself doesn’t have to be a solo project. Just as you can support a training buddy, your buddy can support you. Also, try to find instructors, coaches, and mentors who inspire confidence in your abilities. If someone you trust believes in your abilities, you’ll start to believe in them too.
Visualize success (and failure).
When you’re trying to follow a path, it’s helpful to know where it’s heading. What will it look like to achieve your goal? How will you feel when you cross the finish line, when you reach your goal weight, when you’ve eaten vegetables for a whole year?
Once you’re prepared, imagine situations where you try to do what you’ve planned and, for a moment, you fail. How would you feel if you got injured, if a vacation threw you off track, or if your training buddy stopped deadlifting with you? Your plan is ambitious enough to overcome these obstacles, but it’s helpful to think through and plan ahead for how you’ll handle them. Then, when the time comes, you’ll execute your plan without hesitation.