The Dark Side of the Modern Male Body “Ideal”
When I asked ordinary people why they post their workouts online, I received over a hundred responses, many of which were filled with complaints about body image issues and unattainable beauty standards. This didn’t surprise me. What did surprise me was that most of these responses came from men.
Carefully measured amounts of chicken and rice, obsessive macronutrient tracking, and guilt over skipping a workout: on social media, these behaviors are presented as demonstrations of strength and efficiency. The same rituals that are clear signs of a behavioral disorder in women are reimagined as “discipline” and “optimization” for men. How many men suffer in silence because eating disorders are codified as a women’s issue? How many cases go unnoticed when they are presented as “healthy eating” or “serious exercise”? When eating disorders and body dysmorphic disorder are rebranded as “fitness goals,” many men are left defenseless against their problems.
Men can suffer from eating disorders too.
Currently, boys and men make up about a third of people diagnosed with eating disorders, a figure that likely understates the scale of the crisis. Specifically, muscle dysmorphia—sometimes called ” bigorexia “—is characterized by excessive and compulsive exercise, a persistent belief in insufficient muscle mass, and an obsession with muscle mass, size, and thinness.
Unfortunately, much of fitness culture allows men to engage in destructive behavior by dressing it up in superficial terms. Cycles of “bulking” and “cutting” can mask serious nutritional issues . Without making any amateurish diagnoses for some of the men I know, I can confidently say I’ve seen the mental health consequences when extreme calorie restriction turns into “cutting,” and obsessive exercise becomes “maintenance.”
Unsurprisingly, social media amplifies these harmful messages. Mason Boudry, who describes himself as “someone known for posting explicit, attention-grabbing photos,” told me about the psychological toll of constantly trying to look a certain way. “Even if people don’t recognize that obsessive tracking and strict dieting can be classified as an eating disorder, I know it is for me,” he says. Social media makes these feelings even more public and persistent.
We all scroll through feeds filled with photos of bodies enhanced with chemicals, presented as natural and achievable. This naturally breeds more self-criticism, more comparisons, and a greater sense of inadequacy. Matthew Singer, a yoga teacher, says that most “fitness inspirations” “are as useful for fitness as previous lottery numbers are for winning millions. Fitness inspirations don’t take into account genetics, work and family circumstances, medical history, or any of the countless other factors that influence health outcomes.” Our bodies are treated as projects in constant need of adjustment, without the necessary context.
What concerns me most is the inability of men to speak openly about their eating disorders. There’s both a misconception about who is affected by eating disorders and a deep reluctance among men who suffer from them to seek help for a problem they’ve been taught to cope with alone. Society has created an ideal of masculinity that equates vulnerability with weakness, making it nearly impossible for some men to admit they’re struggling with food and their bodies.
Unattainable beauty standards remain unattainable.
Botox injections for men may be called “brotox,” but this cheeky moniker shouldn’t obscure the fact that unattainable beauty standards are driving men to resort to more drastic measures. Dr. Claudia Kim of New Look New Life, a cosmetic surgery clinic, says she’s seeing an increase in men seeking cosmetic procedures, including jaw contouring, under-eye contouring, hair restoration, and skin rejuvenation. “These approaches provide noticeable yet subtle results with minimal downtime,” says Kim, and these procedures fit perfectly into the lives of those who might not otherwise have had to worry about these issues.
Kim adds that it’s significant that her male patients are typically seeking aesthetic medicine for the first time. In this sense, men are catching up with women in the beauty practices they’ve observed for generations, and are gradually learning what women have long understood: that appearance influences professional success, social capital, and romantic prospects—and these criteria are constantly shifting. At the same time, the masculine ideal demands stoic self-sufficiency, even though it entails expensive and ongoing aesthetic work.
What does all this mean for the average person on an average budget? The procedures Kim describes—jaw contouring, hair restoration, aesthetic treatments—aren’t cheap. Dietary supplements, meal preparation services, personal trainers, specialized equipment, and so on are also expensive. Beauty standards are increasingly costly, meaning your appearance is yet another area of health where social class determines results. And if men can’t afford to look the way they do, they find themselves in the unique position of having to suffer in silence.
As a woman, I spent most of my life envious of how men were allowed to age, gain weight, or simply be in their own skin without constant interference. Now I look at it with greater compassion, especially after hearing so many men admit they were never given the opportunity to express their aesthetic preferences without shame.
Result
There’s a huge difference between healthy self-care and feeling like your body is never good enough. Meticulously counting every calorie, every rep, every perceived flaw—why should one woman’s obvious eating disorder be another man’s enviable accomplishment?
Women struggle with body image issues and unattainable beauty standards from birth, but many men have never been taught how to fight this battle. For me, the key takeaway is this: we all need to be on the same page. To combat this problem, we need a more honest conversation about how we influence men’s attitudes toward their bodies. Until we acknowledge this, all this talk of “cutting” and “discipline” will allow dangerous behavior to go unnoticed.