How to Recognize the Early Signs of Dementia in a Family Member

It is difficult to see that someone is in pain. We have all experienced pain to one degree or another, so when a loved one has difficulties, it reminds us how unpleasant it was. But there are situations when one of your loved ones begins to suffer in a different way – and may not even be fully aware of what is happening. They may not lose their physical mobility, but memories or skills slip away from them instead.

This puts you in a quandary. If your loved one, for example, fell and broke their leg, the process would be relatively simple: they seek medical attention, get an X-ray, and end up in a cast or supportive shoe with instructions on how to do it. use crutches, a walker, or a wheelchair. Of course, no one cares that the injury heals in a few weeks (or months), but they have seen an x-ray and know they have a broken leg.

Seeing someone you care about with signs of dementia is a whole different story – from recognizing the signs, to the steps leading to a potential diagnosis, to knowing how to discuss it with that person and other important people in your life. Lifehacker spoke with several dementia and memory care experts to better understand how to deal with these situations.

Dementia can look different for every person

Noticing that a loved one becomes more and more forgetful or has a habit of repeating itself can be alarming. You may immediately think if the person has signs of dementia or is it just aging. On the one hand, you do not want the person you care about to feel patronized or as if you are trying to take away their autonomy; on the other hand, you are concerned about their safety.

“Despite the fact that the early signs of dementia in different people are different, there are some common features” , – explains the type Snow , licensed occupational therapist and a specialist in the care of the memory of A Place is for Mom , consulting service for the life of the elderly. “For this person, things are not the same as before – something important is changing, including attention, flexibility, abilities, interests, emotional stability or range, or awareness of self or others,” she tells Lifehacker.

Signs of dementia

For the most part, the signs of dementia fall into two categories (although they certainly overlap): cognitive changes (such as memory loss) and psychological changes (such as unusual aggression). These are some of the most common signs of dementia, according to Lisa M. Chini , author of The Beehive: A Simple Guide to Multi-Generation Living and an expert on aging, Alzheimer’s and long-term care design:

• Personality changes.
• Disappointment that they can’t find the right words.
• Repeating comments or stories over and over. (While it’s not easy to tell a story at breakfast and repeat it at dinner, it’s a more sequential process.)
• Depression.
• Paranoia (think people are talking about them or trying to hurt them).
• Confusion of consciousness.
• Previously, it was difficult for them to play games.
• Driving and having difficulty remembering where they were going or how to get home.

At the same time, Chini says that we should also be aware that there are other conditions that can cause similar symptoms, such as a urinary tract infection (which can cause serious confusion in older patients), a chemical imbalance in their brain, or the medications they are taking. … be off. If any of this causes concern, it’s time to take the person to the doctor for a diagnostic examination to rule out these causes.

Meanwhile, the symptoms listed above can take many forms, which is why Snow, whose work focuses on dementia, outlined a few specific situations you might notice, or your loved one notices about himself:

Changing patterns of episodic social interactions or actions

This is not when someone suddenly stops their daily or routine communication, but rather something that they did sporadically. This may include holiday events, volunteering or work-related work, or home services. In some cases, these actions may be overlooked, performed incorrectly, or can cause emotional stress, which they have never done before.

Falling into the trap of scams or offers from unreliable sources

This can also include situations where your loved one is giving the other person access to their valuable resources without worries, and in doing so may appear to be ignoring details or facts that would have previously attracted their attention.

Difficulty getting seats

This can involve more problems getting to unfamiliar places or returning from familiar ones, especially if a different route is needed.

Difficulty finding things in familiar places or spaces

They may simply not notice them or say that someone has moved or hid them.

Strange or unusual thinking or statements

These can be specific situations or events from a person’s history that are inaccurate or incompatible with his previous knowledge or knowledge. These can include thoughts or statements about relationships, finances, resources, or a sequence of events or results.

New financial problems have arisen

This includes making mistakes, taking risks or not doing routine tasks on time, and possibly hiding evidence.

Memory problems

This may include giving up memories of meetings, appointments, agreements, conversations, or decisions. In addition, a person may have trouble accepting that something is true, even after there is evidence that it actually happened.

New challenges in estimating time and the passage of time

The person may think that something that happened in the past happened recently, or believe that something was done recently, when in fact it has not been done for a long period of time. Examples include visits, calls, contacts, and daily chores or responsibilities.

Emotional changes

This can include shifts in emotional flexibility, emotional range, or emotional responsiveness to both familiar and unfamiliar situations, interactions, or events, from apathy to extreme fear, flight, or struggle.

How to talk about dementia with the person who is worried about you

While these conversations are never easy, there are ways to prepare yourself to discuss the topic of dementia with a loved one. Here are some tips from experts to help:

Be straight

When it comes to bringing up this topic, Dr. Wilfred Van Gorp , neuropsychologist and director of the cognitive assessment team, says the direct approach is the best approach. He suggests using something like “Your memory worries me – I would like to go to the doctor with you to see this” as a way to start a conversation.

Don’t diagnose a person

It’s one thing to be direct about your problems with memories of your beloved, but getting straight into the chair diagnosis isn’t the best way to do it. “Don’t say prescriptions or say you think they have dementia,” says Lifehacker Caroline Tapp-McDougall , author of The Ultimate Guide for Family Caregivers and publisher of Caregiver Solutions magazine. “Only a qualified healthcare provider, such as your doctor or specialist, can formally diagnose dementia.”

In a similar vein, Tapp-McDougall stresses the importance of preparing for the fact that a person may not have dementia. “Remember, not all cases of memory loss are the same, and some memory loss can be considered a natural part of the aging process,” she says.

Make a one-on-one conversation

Instead of ambushing the person you are worried about while discussing their memory problems at a round table, both Chini and Tapp-McDougall recommend one-on-one conversation. “Whatever you do, don’t lash out at them, respect them, and focus on helping instead of taking their freedom,” Chini says.

Ask about their problems

If you start out by being concerned about their memory, Tapp-McDougall suggests checking if they have the same problems. “They may have noticed that they have been unable to read or write too well lately, or they may have been feeling cranky and anxious or forgetting things more often,” she says.

But they can also deny that something is wrong. If that happens, Tapp-McDouglas says it’s best not to argue with them. “Remember to meet them where they are, don’t argue or make them feel bad,” Chini adds. “It’s a lot harder for them than it is for you.”

Focus on security and solutions

Instead of trying to solve everything at once, Chini suggests discussing only those areas that directly affect their safety, such as driving a car or taking medication. If your loved one resists or objects to your views during a conversation, Tapp-McDougall recommends – without directly disagreeing with them – a few examples of what could put them at risk, including several key incidents.

In a similar vein, Chini says that you should have thought about possible solutions to a security issue before discussing it with this person. “If you don’t have a solution or a way to help them, you really should not discuss these issues with them,” she explains. “For example, if the problem is now with driving, find a solution, like drive it or create an Uber account so they can go out and enjoy life.”

Be hopeful

Much of what you say during this conversation will depend on your tone and approach. According to Tapp-McDougall, it starts by sitting in a quiet, secluded area for a one-on-one conversation and using a soft tone of voice. “Express that you’re worried about them because they haven’t been themselves lately, [but] don’t be critical or accusatory or they might get defensive,” she explains.

Denial is the most common reaction to these conversations, Tapp-McDougall notes, and usually doesn’t help when you aggressively point out examples of forgetfulness or confusion that make them feel bad. “Making sure you’re there to help them is key to their success,” she says. “It’s a frightening, depressing and potentially embarrassing time.”

Seek support before talking if you need it.

“Make sure you’re in a good place: emotionally, physically and cognitively,” advises Snow. “You might want to connect with a professional who is familiar with the brain changes that occur with age or changing life circumstances to get the support you need before you start an uncomfortable and unfamiliar conversation.”

If you’re unsure where to start, Snow says there are agencies, organizations and individuals that provide similar services, including senior care managers and local aging agencies .

How to discuss potential signs of dementia with others your loved one depends on

In addition to your loved one with possible memory problems, it is also important to share your problems with other people on whom they depend on a daily basis – be it a spouse, brother or sister, or a neighbor. But it can also be easier said than done. Again, Van Gorp recommends discussing this directly with family members (or other loved ones) by saying something like, “Have you noticed that Dad has been terribly forgetful lately? Maybe we should go to the doctor and see this. ” Here are some more strategies:

Get their point of view

Snow says that the first step to this kind of conversation is to find out the other person’s point of view and realize that you have noticed about the person you both care about. “Do not try to convince the person that you are right, but rather find out what he is picking up or how he looks at the situation,” she explains. “Starting an argument about how to look at things differently will definitely make further communication and support more problematic.”

If the other person seems unaware that you are noticing, Snow suggests that you try something like the following: “So I’m wondering if you’ve noticed any changes in the way Mom handles food? I just noticed that there were a lot of expired and moldy items in the fridge. I just haven’t seen her do it before. ” Then listen to what the other person has to offer in response. “If you don’t see acceptance or agreement, you might want to pause and think of another resource for support,” Snow adds.

Start talking about the plan

You may not have gotten to putting the plan into action, but that doesn’t mean it’s too early to get it started. According to Michael Bloch, CEO and founder of Pillar Life , an app that helps families and communities organize their care efforts, a dementia treatment plan is a written document designed to help caregivers understand who the patient is and what they need, how a way to enhance their quality of life. Here’s more information on what this might look like.

When is the time to invite experts

Sometimes an incident happens that makes it clear it’s time to seek the advice of a healthcare professional for someone you care about. In other cases, it can be difficult to tell when to take this step. According to Van Gorp, this is the case when you get better faster.

“The best time [to bring in experts] is right after being noticed. Medications and interventions are most effective early on, ”he tells Lifehacker. “Do not wait. Once the damage is done, it is often too late. ” He recommends contacting either a therapist or a neurologist.