How to Please Any Child, According to Lifehacker Readers
Last week we asked you for the best advice on how to get other people’s kids to love you right away, and you gave us some insight on how to win them over. Of course, several people have kindly pointed out the fact that children are very fond of bribes. But when the appetizers ran out—God forbid—many of you had helpful reminders to get the kids to actually study with you.
Maybe your friend needs you to babysit. Or you have to prove to the date that “the kids love me!” Or, like me, you just crave approval from people of all ages. Whatever the reason, if you need kids to approve of you, here are some tips that Lifehacker readers have shared with us.
Fake it until you do.
Here’s the secret: You don’t have to be on top of the latest kids show trends. Ask a few questions, open the floodgates, and sit back as they talk about their favorite game, YouTuber, dinosaur, or whatever they’re passionate about. It’s like when a friend talks about the minutiae of their job, your winning strategy is to nod and let the other person do the talking.
Lifehacker’s own staff writerSarah Shawfety shares her experience as “the proud owner of a nearly nine-year-old”:
I’d say: knock knock jokes, weird animals, nature or historical trivia, talking (or listening to their incessant talk about) Minecraft, Super Mario or Roblox, fart humor, puns, letting them send memos or watch YouTube videos on your phone – all this will bring you instant points.
Commenter digitalsandwich78 adds that “just letting them talk about Roblox and nod their heads is enough. No, I have no idea what my kids are talking about.” Show your kids that you’re listening, even if you don’t fully understand what the hell they’re saying.
Be a great listener
Once you’ve spoken to your child, you need to do more than just nod your head. After all, we all could do with some practice in being more engaged and active listeners across the board. As the commentator The Duke of Kent put it, “Listening is vital when talking to both children and adults.” To that end, the Duke of Kent has given great advice: channel your inner talk show host.
Whenever I need to talk to a child or an adult I don’t really know very well, I try to act like a talk show host and just steer the other person on topics they are interested in rather than repeat pre-planned topics of conversation. . my own. Start with an initial open question and then continue. One of my favorites: “What are you reading right now?” Then: “What is it about?” As the child begins to describe the plot, ask some probing questions: “Why do you think this character did this?” or “What would you do if you were in that situation?” Then branch out with more from there.
Consider trying this “talk show approach” to listening (whether you’re dating a child or an adult). If that doesn’t work, if in doubt, ask, “Who’s having trouble at school today?” You’ll find that a little gossip is fun for all ages.
Don’t talk down to them
There is a time and place for a child’s voice, and that time and place is only when you are talking to a child, such as pointing at their incredible plump legs, or talking about their flawless plump cheeks, and so on. However, as soon as the child starts talking, he wants to feel that you are taking him seriously.
Many of you have pointed out the fact that talking down to children will not be well received. Lifehacker commentator Crafty Noodle put it beautifully when he said that you should “talk to them like you would talk to another person you’re dating.” Childish feelings of patronage begin sooner than you think.
Get down to their level
This tip isn’t just about physically crawling on the floor (although hiding under a table with a small child can be a big deal). Kids love it when you feel like you’re on their level, especially when it means you’re ready to play any game.
Lifehacker commentator Some Dude says it could mean getting physically down to earth as well as “letting [kids] control how you play with them” and for you to “go along with everything (within reason)”.
Twitter user @JamieLeeLardner gives the following tips to help kids feel like you’re on their level: “[Use] eye contact and get involved in what they’re doing. Don’t steal the vibe to make it on your own terms. If they’re building Lego, join in and ask them questions; don’t swing the ball or require them to change moves to catch because you love it.”
Sarah Shawfety of Lifehacker has attacked again with bigger ideas on how to win kids over: try any game or activity that makes them feel mean or secretive. Don’t you remember how great it was as a child when you pulled one on those annoying adults?
Treat them like real people
Ultimately, there is no one secret trick to please all people. And, apparently, children are people too. The most important thing you can do is let the children feel that you are interacting with them for who they are. This means asking about their passions and being sincere in your reactions. Seriously – don’t underestimate a seven year old’s radar for bullshit.