Why You Should Think of New Habits As Skills

I regularly do a lot of things that people might call “good habits.” I go for a walk every morning. I go to the gym almost every day. I meal prep on the weekends so I always have something healthy for lunch.

But I didn’t arrive at this behavior just through habit accumulation or some other clever hack. Because the truth is that most “habits” are actually skills that take work and time to develop, rather than simple “set it and forget it” techniques.

Most “habits” aren’t that simple.

Psychologists define “habits” as actions that we do automatically in a particular situation. “For example, the act of twirling one’s hair may ultimately occur without the person’s conscious awareness,” states the American Psychological Association definition .

But when we talk about forming a habit, we usually mean something we do regularly. Perhaps this happens automatically—perhaps that is the goal—but it is not a reflexive reaction to the environment. For example, people usually say they want to develop “habits” such as:

• Going to the gym

• Eat more vegetables

• Reading books

• dental floss

• Go to bed on time

None of these actions are simple, reflexive or unconscious behavior. Some of them are relatively simple: you could probably use classic techniques like folding to make sure you floss after brushing your teeth . But most habits require much more effort to develop.

What we really want is behavior change

Psychologists have a different name for things like eating healthy, getting more sleep, and reading books rather than scrolling through social media. They call it “behavior change,” and there are countless studies and theoretical models examining how people actually change their behavior.

They found that adopting a new behavior (what we call a “habit”) requires us to invest time and effort, and we undergo several changes in thinking as we move from a person who doesn’t do a thing to a person who does. it’s all the time. See if you can recognize yourself in one of them:

• Pre-contemplation : You are not interested in doing something (say, going to the gym).

• Contemplation : You are thinking about starting to do this regularly . You may have started reading articles about what it’s like to visit the gym for the first time .

• Preparation : You take steps to get things done . Here you will visit the nearest gym for a tour or buy a pair of sneakers . You might try a workout or two, but you’re not ready yet.

• Action : You get things done . Note that this is not the first stage and not the last. At this stage, you still have a lot of questions, you may feel uncomfortable in your new routine, and if things don’t go well, you may give up.

• Maintenance : This is you when you have finally developed a “habit”. Like maintaining a car or a relationship, maintaining a habit takes effort. Events will occur that break this habit; you may take time off, get injured, or become disillusioned with your progress. At this point, you need to learn to anticipate and address these potential problems in order for the behavior change to stick.

Moving from one stage to the next takes work, time, and changes in thinking. And the process isn’t always linear: You might move to a new city and miss your workouts for a few weeks, and then you’ll have to find a new gym. This sets you back a few steps on the chart, but doesn’t necessarily push you off it completely.

Each “habit” has its own learning process

Much depends on even behavior that seems simple. For example, if you want to eat more fruit, you can place a bowl of fruit. But this is not the beginning and not the end. You need to know what kind of fruits you like. They need to be purchased regularly. You need to know how to buy them, avoiding berries that are about to go moldy and bananas that are so underripe that they will stay green for days. (It might also be helpful to know that berries will last longer if stored in the refrigerator , and that you can buy green and yellow bananas on the same shopping trip to have a week’s supply of perfectly ripe fruit.)

Or take another example: you can think of “running every morning” as a simple habit. But there are a lot of things you need to do to become a person who actually finds it easy to run every morning.

That’s what I mean. The best book I’ve ever read on how to become a runner doesn’t focus on tricks like combining a running habit with walking the dog. This is a “Marathon Trainer for Non-Runners” that at first glance sounds like it offers a training program. But of the 300 pages of the book, the training plan only takes up half (more precisely, the bottom half of the second page).

The rest of the book is about teaching you how to be a runner. Before the introductory chapter ends, you’ll have heard anecdotes from people who hated running and found satisfaction in training for a marathon, because it’s important to know that this dichotomy of thoughts is completely normal and shouldn’t stop you.

Other chapters explain why you need to buy sweat-wicking clothing, how to prevent nipple bleeding, how to run fast, what to tell yourself when you’re tired and want to quit, how to recognize common injuries, how to track your weekly mileage, and why you should increase your carb intake and what foods will help you do this, how to set appropriate goals, what to pack in your bag on race day, and how to cut carbs before a race without going crazy .

These are all important skills for any runner, and none of them come automatically or can be done automatically at first. You must learn them. You must practice them. You have to figure out how they apply to you personally: what mental tricks keep you motivated, what shoes fit your feet, and so on. Even though I read this book early in my running career (I see pencil notes dating back to 2003), it took me years to fully grasp the basics as they apply to me personally. And I’m still learning how to become a better runner.

It’s okay to work for your habits (and enjoy them).

Classic habit hacks suggest that habits are boring and we have to trick ourselves into doing them. This may be true for flossing, but anything we really want to do, we do because we enjoy it or at least appreciate the benefits it brings.

It’s okay to enjoy things! Even and especially what is good for us. If you view “healthy eating” as something you hate and will always hate, it will always be a slog. On the other hand, if you learn how to cook delicious recipes (and maybe even take up cooking as a hobby), you will continue to do it and you will enjoy it .

When we like something, we stick with it. When we feel something is boring, we make excuses to get rid of it. In fact, Donald Edmonson, a scientist who studies behavior change, noted that we make lasting changes by switching off autopilot .

Habit hacks still have their place

It’s not that habit accumulation and other such tricks are bad. They are too weak to provide lasting and meaningful changes in your life on their own.

Each of these could backfire if and when they fail, so think about it. If you ‘re tempted to combine your favorite TV show with your treadmill, one day you can still just sit on the couch and watch it. If you meditate every day to gain a bar on your calendar, you might just say “screw it” and stop meditating completely after losing the 364-day bar. If the only thing that drives your habit is deceiving yourself, you will never truly reach this important maintenance stage. Small hacks cannot lead to big changes.

But habit hacks work well for simple, low-stakes tasks or small parts of a larger goal. It can be helpful to think of them as reminders rather than motivation. Bedtime is great for creating a sleep routine (or a morning routine, or a pre-workout routine), but it’s only part of a larger behavior change habit that you’re really striving for (“going to bed on time”). When you build your habits, you need to think big before you think small.

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