How to Fake Scratch Desserts Using Store-Bought Desserts
Welcome to the Scammer’s Guide to Thanksgiving . While there is plenty of advice out there for people making desserts and artisan breads, The Con Man’s Guide is geared toward the individual who could use a helping hand, even from some unconventional sources. Some might call it “cheating” (as if that’s a bad thing), but there’s nothing wrong with using modern technology and supermarket know-how to create a stunning traditional feast – with far less of the traditional work involved.
Maybe you don’t have the time or patience to make five desserts for Thanksgiving. Perhaps you despise baking. Chances are, you even have judgmental aunts and uncles looking for an opportunity to cast aspersions on your pastry skills again. I reserve the right to break the rules. Buy desserts and imitate your way to success.
Keep in mind: While the methods I suggest here are good enough to fool your family, they are not just for the smartest scammers among us. There’s no shame in buying store-bought desserts, but consider them unfinished. The store or bakery has done the hard work for you, you just need to add the finishing touch to make it your own. It doesn’t have to be complicated to be effective: a simple dusting of powdered sugar, a little icing or a sprinkle of chopped nuts can make a huge difference. You dress up for special occasions—and your dessert should too.
Where to buy holiday desserts
There are many delicious dishes to try, but you might want to avoid the more terrible ones. While you can always do something unconventional, when it comes to traditional Thanksgiving desserts, you’re mostly looking at pies, pastries, cakes, and cheesecakes. Since you’re not baking them yourself at home, you can buy them at the grocery store or local bakery.
Buying from a local bakery will likely be much more convincing than buying something from home. However, the trade-off is the price. For whole cakes, pies and cheesecakes, independent bakeries will charge you much more ($30 to $70 each) than the grocery store. However, sometimes it’s worth it. (More on this later.)
Buying from a large grocery store like Whole Foods or ShopRite will be significantly more affordable, but will require a little more flair to get the final product stage-ready. But that’s why we have tricks. You can save money and still get a great faux dessert. The dessert is mostly ready – all that remains is to spice it up and add a few handmade touches. This usually comes in the form of toppings, garnishes, or subtle manipulations.
Decorating store-bought cheesecakes
I highly recommend buying cheesecake to trick yourself into making Thanksgiving dessert. Not only are they the biggest headache to make, but they are also the easiest to make them look homemade because even manufactured ones are simple. Baking your own cheesecake requires a long baking and cooling time, possibly a water bath, and careful removal from the pan. That’s a lot of time during which you could be watching a football game or looking for Advil.
How to do it
Buy cheesecake from the grocery store or local bakery. I suggest getting a single flavor cheesecake like chocolate, pumpkin, or a simple New York style cheesecake with a graham cracker crust. If you’re planning on tricking your guests, don’t be cute and buy a peanut butter, caramel, and crumble swirl that you would never try to make.
At the grocery store, cheesecakes are sometimes stored in the freezer or in the low aisle of chilled sandwiches and take-out desserts. Use garnishes like graham cracker crumbs, fresh fruit, cherry pie filling or heavy cream and dark chocolate chips to make ganache at home.
You can double wrap the cheesecake in plastic and freeze it a few weeks ahead, but defrost it in the refrigerator the day before. To dress it up and add extra flavor, you have several options. Add crumbles on the side, add toppings, or add both. At the sides, carefully pour the graham cracker crumbs into the palm of your dominant hand. With your other hand, hold the cheesecake over a large bowl (to hold and catch any falling crumbs). Press the crumbs into the sides of the defrosted cheesecake. You don’t need to press hard, it will be wet.
If you want something more dramatic than crumbles, try the topping. You can place softly whipped cream in the center or cut rosettes around the edges. Make a simple ganache and spread it over the cheesecake so it drips nicely down the sides. Spread some cherry pie filling on top or top with fresh berries to add a zesty twist to the pie.
Taking store baked goods to a new level
Baked goods are great for Thanksgiving dessert because they look great and many of them reheat beautifully. Anything that looks like it’s made from puff pastry and isn’t already frosted can be re-fried in the oven. This will improve the flavor and liven up the baked goods. Then work your garnish magic.
My local ShopRite had an apple strip that looked nice. The dough was baked but not overly browned and there was just a touch of sugar in the aftertaste. It’s not a problem.
How to do it
Before Thanksgiving dinner gets into full swing, line a baking sheet with parchment paper. Unpack the dough and place it on a baking sheet. Bake at 350°F for eight to 10 minutes. Pierce the crust. If it is soft or not crispy, fry it for a minute or two. Don’t take your eyes off him. Browning will crisp the outside of the dough, but it will burn quickly, so set a timer and be careful.
Chill the dough and make another simple frosting using half a cup of powdered sugar and a small tablespoon of water. Drizzle the glaze over the dough and top with toasted chopped almonds, pecans or walnuts. After this treatment, the baked goods became much better. I could do this on non-holidays as well.
Adding a homemade touch to store-bought baked goods
Personally, I’d like to see us all move to using cake as our Thanksgiving dessert. It stays in great condition much longer than cake, is often easier to prepare, and has a wide variety of flavors to choose from. The cake is also easy to fake because it is easy to dress it up to your liking. Let me explain.
How to do it
Buy a specialty cake from a bakery store. I do not recommend using Entenmann or any other overly recognizable brand. Get some cake (not angel food, that’s a useless gift), bread pie, apple pie, or anything with streusel.
Use powdered sugar, caramel sauce or chocolate sprinkles and nuts such as pecans, walnuts or almonds. Remove the cake from the container it is in and place it on a serving plate. The loaf cake can be topped with caramel, chocolate sauce, or quickly prepared with white icing .
For crumble or streusel cakes, toast a large handful of nuts in a pan until fragrant. Chop the nuts. Mix half the nuts with the caramel sauce until you have a loose nut mixture. Place cake on a serving plate. Spread the pecan caramel over the top of the cake, allowing it to drip lightly down the sides. Sprinkle the remaining nuts over the cake. Sprinkle powdered sugar on top.
For cakes with frosting, use the cheesecake trick to decorate the sides, but use a different decoration instead of graham cracker crumbs. Use finely chopped nuts, sprinkles or mini chocolate chips and press them into the sides of the cake. Use the same garnish and scatter it decoratively around the outside edge.
For any cake that still looks too artificial, you can always serve it in slices. Cut the cake and arrange decorative slices or rectangles on a long platter. Not only will this make it easier for guests to grab, but it will also interrupt any decorations that look too perfect.
Decorating store-bought pies
In fact, pies are quite difficult to fake. Grocery stores sell frozen pre-made pies that you can bake fresh at home. The problem is the tin. If you’re trying to hide the fact that you bought it, this aluminum pie pan is pretty revealing about where it came from: not your oven. If you were making it from scratch, you’d probably use a glass or metal pie plate.
Of course, you can remove the frozen cake from the aluminum pan and replace it with a glass pan before baking, but the size will not be the same. Believe me, I tried. Frozen store-bought pies are small enough that the crust won’t snag on a regular nine-inch pie plate. If you try to bake it there anyway, the crust will wilt and ruin in the oven without proper support. Pie is just one of those things that you’re better off making from scratch ( along with other things ) or paying someone else to make it from scratch, like a small bakery.
However, an unfilled pie crust is a different matter and you can cheat it with frozen ingredients. Here’s a detailed overview of how to do it.
How to make store-bought pies beautiful
Even if you can’t lie about your cake, you can still decorate it. If you buy pies from a large grocery store like Whole Foods or ShopRite, ask the bakery if they make them from scratch in-house or if they sell them frozen. If they are frozen, you can buy them frozen so you can bake them fresh at home. Otherwise, go to the freezer and grab your favorite pie.
The day you are ready to make the pie, remove it from the freezer. If it’s a double-crust pie, egg the top and sprinkle liberally with sugar before baking (a sugar topping looks even prettier). Bake according to package instructions. The egg mixture will turn a shiny dark brown, and the sugar will add sweetness, textural crunch, and maybe even a slight shine if it gets the right light.
When it comes to presenting store-bought desserts for Thanksgiving, these finishing touches take them from packaged to personalized. Don’t be afraid to mix and match side dishes and embrace the imperfections.