Goldfish Crackers Got a New Name (for a While)
Goldfish Crackers have officially been renamed Chilean Sea Bass Crackers. Is this some kind of twisted joke? Twisted Halloween Snack Scam? How dare they! Don’t worry, it’s only for a week.
According to their website , the seven-day rebrand was chosen to be a “grown-up” name, but the contents of the package remained the same – baked fish pieces in a cheddar shape. Goldfish for children. Chilean sea bass is intended for adults. They are one. (Sorry for bringing all of The Substance down on you.)
This name exchange began on Wednesday and will continue until October 30. However, getting them is not so easy. You won’t be able to find them at your local grocery store; if you’re forced to buy them just because of the tricky name (and literally nothing else), you’ll have to order them from the Goldfish Smiles website for $7.38 for a pack of two. Please be aware that they may sell out daily. You will need to sign up at 9am. ET, order while supplies last for the day. (Again, why?)
As an adult who can choose from a variety of crackers at the grocery store, I wish they would go the extra mile and make them taste like Chilean sea bass. That’s probably why I’m not in the marketing business. (That said, Calbee shrimp chips are damn delicious, so why not take a chance?) If you’re looking for a flavor with a little more flair, too, try Goldfish’s other popular flavors like pizza, pretzel, Frank’s Red Hot, and parmesan. may appeal to your sophisticated adult tastes. They have the same old name, but at least they’re easier to find on the grocery store shelf.