How to Restart Family Dinner This Year
In many ways, the pandemic has forced families to slow down to rates that seemed impossible a year ago. I remember last March looking at the large wall calendar I have in my kitchen. One by one, we crossed out basketball practice, soccer games, dating, and family gatherings until all that remained was a written reminder to give our dog monthly heartworm medications. Suddenly we had nothing to fill our evenings with other than family dinners and board games.
For many families, the past few months have been an opportunity to reclaim a family dinner that previously might have been difficult to fit among all gym classes and Boy Scouts. As a result, however, these past months may also serve as a reminder that sitting and eating together with the whole family is a good and worthy goal, but that does not mean that it always goes smoothly. After a few hours of virtual learning (for them) and work (for you), and another day full of sibling debate and uncooperativeness, you may all end up at the dinner table with a slightly grumpy temper. The last thing you wanted to do was make a hearty meal, but now that you’ve made it, the last thing they want is to eat what you have prepared.
We’re still stuck in the same old pandemic, but this is a new year that might provide some motivation to shake things up. If you think lunchtime is frustrating, now is the time to change tactics. Here are some ideas on how to get out of a rut at dinner.
Dinner does not have to be during dinner
If ever we had the opportunity to have dinner anytime we want, then it probably is now. If everyone gathering at 6:00 pm is working for you as usual, then stick with it. However, if your young children are usually in emotional turmoil by 6:00 pm, try lengthening the time.
We used to suggest that you feed your kids dinner at 3:00 pm if they are hungry after school. The line between “school” and “after school” has become rather blurred, but the point is, if their hunger strikes earlier than traditional lunchtime, it might be worth going higher. In fact, there is no law that says a large family meal should be dinner at all – depending on your schedule right now, maybe you can all get together for a family meal instead.
If lunch is turning into a large family meal, you can use your normal evening “cooking” time to prepare tomorrow’s lunch. Chop vegetables for stir-fry, prepare a saucepan with spaghetti sauce, or fold in a casserole and refrigerate for tomorrow. Now “dinner” can be a lighter dish of soups, sandwiches or salads.
If getting the whole family together for a full meal is not working at all (they may need more food at lunchtime, but this does not coincide with your work schedule), try a “ family snack” late at night . You are still hanging out at the table, which is the goal, but perhaps you just share an assortment of sliced fruits and cheeses or hummus with pita bread wedges.
Call it something else
If you shout: “It’s time for lunch!” makes your young children momentarily groan, maybe just … name it something else. For them, the word “dinner” can mean lavish dinners of foods they don’t like, and sometimes it’s all about branding. So instead of serving regular cooked vegetables, they turn up their noses at dinner, invite them into the kitchen for a vegetable happy hour while you finish cooking the rest of your meal.
Make an assortment of brightly colored vegetables with a couple of sauces and have them try whatever you like. Another presentation – and the ability to grab a pre-dinner snack – might be enough to entice them to try something they would not normally like to try at dinner.
Now that they had happy hour for vegetables, it was time for the big snack. They might not like the quesadillas for dinner, but would they like the quesadillas to be a great snack ? This may sound funny.
Play the game while you eat
Sometimes it’s best to take your mind off food completely. If during dinner it seems like the conversation always returns to how disgusting broccoli is or which meatloaf makes them want to shut their mouths, play some word game. This Little Talk conversation starter deck is a great place to start, but you can also come up with your own word games.
My family often plays an alphabet game in which we select a category, such as names, foods, or animals, and then take turns to name a word from the category that begins with the following letter of the alphabet: A for asparagus, B for bread, C for carrot cake, etc. (These games are also suitable for travel.) They can actually eat a little more if they don’t focus too much on each bite.
Give them a little more control
What do children ultimately want? Well, of course, control. They do not want to constantly feel that life and food is happening to them. No, they want to be actively involved in what they do and when they do it.
One of the main tips parents get when helping their kids be more open to trying different foods is to take them to the grocery store to help them choose what foods to cook and then let them help you prepare them. … Or, as Chrissy Teigen suggests , you can create a laminated menu full of healthy meals you know they’ll eat – and let them choose their own dinner.
When all else fails and your kids crash and burn again during lunchtime? Try flipping a coin .