How to Talk to Children About Upsetting Current Events
In most cases, we can prepare ourselves for the “ big conversations ” with our children. We can research and plan how to talk to them about everything from sex to porn, from LGBTQ issues to racism. But then, out of nowhere, something unexpected and deeply upsetting happens in the news. Destructive hurricane. Mass execution. The crowd breaks into our country’s Capitol building.
And even when we try to make sense of what we observe, even when fear, sadness and anxiety threaten to consume us whole, our children need us. They need us to help them become aware of what they see and hear. They need us to guide them through all the terrible events. There are several ways to do this.
Check with them
When something extraordinary happens on the news, the chances are high that our children will hear something about it – either at home or from a classmate or friend. Even if you manage to turn off the TV in front of a younger child, they will likely notice a change in your mood and that you are on the phone even more than usual (and with a grim expression), or they will hear you whisper updates to your partner. on the kitchen.
Remember that in the absence of real information, if something does not seem right, and they do not know what it is for something, they may assume that in some way to blame. Young children know how to blame themselves for things to which they have absolutely nothing to do. There is no reason to scare preschoolers or toddlers unnecessarily, but if you know – or suspect – they have noticed something, it’s important to check them out. Ask them what they have seen or heard, ask how they are feeling, and answer any questions they may have in a calm, rational and age-appropriate manner .
It is especially important to talk to teens about what they have seen because they are more likely to internalize their own news on the Internet separately from you or discuss current events with friends who may be misinformed. You can help correct any inaccuracies, provide additional context, or refer them to other sources to help them understand what happened.
And remember, if you don’t know the answer to something, it’s okay to say. Tell them that you will find the answer to their question, or research the answer together using trusted and trusted sources.
Model Useful News Receiving and Survival Mechanisms
When natural disasters, violent crimes, or extreme political unrest strike, it is tempting to turn on the news and leave it behind . However, especially when the story is still unfolding, it is best to restrict their access to current news if there is a chance that something troubling could happen.
Whenever possible, try to check the news together to discuss what you see or read. Decide what aspects of the news might be useful to them, such as an inspiring speech from a leader or images from a vigil or memorial service. Then turn it off and take a break to spend time with the whole family. Go for a walk, cook dinner together, play a board game, or curl up on the couch to watch a funny movie.
Your kids will look at you to determine how they should react to the news and how to deal with sadness or anger they may feel, so now is the time to stay calm and take care of yourself.
Focus on the positive
It can be hard to find the positive when stressful or painful news unfolds in front of us there, but positives will be there. They might be those who may be defending our democracy itself, or neighbors who help each other recuperate from a natural disaster, or first aid workers who put themselves in danger to save others. Focus on any topics of unity, perseverance, or support you may find following bad news.
Then talk about how you as a family can help. Is there an organization you can support or a rally you can go to together? Maybe you can write a letter and mail it to your elected official. Even doing a few good deeds in your own community can help children feel free will and become part of the good in the world.