Child Culture Guide for Adults: Food Crime and Viral Face Masks
This week, kids online are pouring hot wax on their faces, outraged by Disney, frustrated by Nintendo, and learning what happens to all the corpses that have accumulated as a result of COVID-19. So everyone here is mostly normal.
This Week in Weird Food: The Internet’s Most Disgusting Recipes
TikTok user @gettishow must be stopped. She must be held accountable for her culinary crimes, including injecting chocolate into an innocent boiled egg , making a pasta with Nerds candies (she calls it “Getti Spaghetti”), and boiling a packet of Flamin ‘Hot Cheetos in a bright orange slime followed by mixing it with packaged macaroni and cheese. You can watch Claire Lower and Joel Khan try it in Lifehacker’s life in their Hack or Wack: Snack Edition series.
Dirty Getty Recipes sent me down the tiny rabbit hole of disgusting internet chefs, including this guy who makes pasta with beer, mustard and halves and makes “cheese mashed potatoes,” boiling Lay’s potato chips in water and adding cheese, and the woman who uses her forearms like a rolling pin and feeding her kids something called Spaghetti Pie. It is unknown if these chefs are using these horrific “culinary tricks,” but since Kraft sells a pre-packaged version of Flamin ‘Hot Cheetos Mac’ n Chees e, it is clear that people do take it seriously. Trembling .
This week on TikTok warnings: don’t pour melted wax on your face
Hide the scented candles, mothers. Barber in the Netherlands recently placed in TikTok a series of videos about the unique services for its 850,000 subscribers: waxing your entire face. Kapsalon Freedom patrons pay a hairdresser to apply hot wax to their faces and torso and then rip it off. I don’t know why either; life is sometimes mysterious.
Predictably, healthcare professionals quickly condemned the practice. “It’s clear that waxing your entire face isn’t a good idea,” Yahoo! Sports dermatologist Dr. Emma Wedgworth. “The bottom line is that this is a pointless practice that can do more harm than good, and I would not recommend it.”
Well, you are not my master, Dr. Emma Wedgworth. If I want to apply hot wax all over my face, I will. I have a candle right here and I’m going to … Oh my God, why? Burning! Why wasn’t I forbidden to do this?
This Week In The Movies: Cruella’s Trailer
The firsttrailer for the Disney movie Cruella came out this week, and shockingly, the more sensitive corners of the Internet found something in it that made them resent. The upcoming crime comedy stars Emma Stone as the main villain, fashion connoisseur dubbed “Brilliant. Bad. A little bit angry.
While many internet movie nerds reacted to the trailer, noting that Cruella looked amusingly like a stylized black comedy with a female version of the Joker minus the self-serious vibe of the author’s 1970s theory, others sprayed their monocles in indignation. Calls for a boycott and abolition stem from Cruella’s unique approach to fashion: the (completely fictional) character values stylish outerwear more than the life of (imitating) Dalmatian puppies, and some fear that it will foster, captivate, and encourage animal cruelty. The film (which is completely fictional) is out in May.
Viral Video of the Week: Los Angeles Deaths from COVID-19
Viral videos are usually funny videos of cats sneezing or guys kicking in the balls, but sometimes something serious goes viral. This week, tons of peopleare sharing videos of California battling COVID-19’s pile of corpses . Created by Los Angeles-based undertaker, activist and writer Caitlyn Doughty, the clip gives us an inside look at the logistics of dealing with an unexpected onslaught of corpses.
Doughty manages to be informative, hopeful, and even funny in the face of monumental tragedy. I suggest you watch this video right away. Then keep clicking on her Ask a Mortan episode to seehow the undertakers handle very fat corpses , whetherWalt Disney’s head is reallyfrozen, andwhat happened to the Titanic corpses . Then pretend Doughty is your girlfriend and pretend you’re having a picnic in a dark graveyard as she tells you all sorts of cool, funny, and painful things about the modern death industry.
This Week In Video Games: Nintendo’s Press Conference Doesn’t Come True
More than a year has passed since Nintendo released a full-length video for Nintendo Direct – COVID affected everything – so the ever-excited coalition of Nintendo fans was clearly spinning with excitement ahead of Nintendo’s press conference this week.
Traditionally, these announcements have dashed the hopes of the faithful. It’s not that there aren’t any cool Nintendo stuff to expect; the point is, it’s not enough, and it’s not what the fans wanted .
Rather than revealing a new 3D Mario game, a revival of Pilotwings 64, or details on a sequel to The Legend of Zelda: Breath of The Wild , we’ve learned that The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword , a classic Wii game, is being carried over to the Switch. I think that’s good, but will Zelda be a playable character in Breath of the Wild 2 ?
Other notable news outside of Breath-of-the-Wild-2 includes the announcement that Splatoon 3 is slated to launch in 2022, the goofy combat platformer Fall Guys: Ultimate Knockout due out this summer, and Mario Golf: Super Rush. in June.Check out the full Nintendo Direct here (although there is nothing new in Breath of the Wild 2 ).