Useless Kitchen Appliances You Definitely Won’t Need
You should have the right tools in your kitchen. Welcome to The Guide to Outfitting Your Kitchen series , where I help you outfit your space with all the small appliances you need (and ditch the ones you don’t).
This may not come as a big surprise, but I am a kitchen nerd. Every time I bring home a new knife or tool, I have to use it immediately and tell people about it until their ears shrink and die. But while a new fryer or wok may deserve that kind of excitement, not every kitchen tool deserves it. There are some tools vying for your precious desktop space and they are completely useless. Here are some of my favorite totally unnecessary kitchen tools: If you notice one of them hidden in the back of your kitchen cabinet, it might be time to say goodbye.
Watch this video to hear me explain:
Automatic stirrer
Let’s start with my favorite absurd gadget: the automatic stirrer. This device is a battery-powered, vibrating, three-legged tool that is designed to spin around a pot or bowl and stir for you. How nice! Now you can leave the beef stew in the pot on low while you go check on the game, right? Well, there are some problems.
I tested the stirrer in a few different food situations and it didn’t make cooking any easier at all:
-
This is not effective for thicker substances. Although this three-prong vibrator could spin in a pot of broth, even the highest setting would not budge in a thin layer of beef chili. And between them, the chili pepper needs stirring the most to prevent burning on the bottom.
-
It must not be heated. Most brands of stirrers are made of plastic and can only stir warm liquids, which may be useful for gravy off the heat, but not very useful when you’re actually cooking.
-
It only offers one form of mixing. The stirrer moves only one way in the pan. Any scraping of the bottom and sides that you could do with a wooden spoon, whisk or rubber spatula will still have to be done.
-
It’s more expensive. I’m a fan of cordless tools , but the number of batteries this thing needs (four double A) just to shake it around the pan is a waste. My arm strength is free.
-
It’s loud . It’s a hard plastic device that rotates the pan at three different intensity levels. Any notion of peace and quiet you might want in the kitchen is violently thrown out the window.
We’re not even talking about the elephant in the kitchen: stirring is easy! This is one of the easiest and most skill-free parts of cooking. Indeed, some people, myself included, find that stirring up familiar foods is quite therapeutic. There are very few dishes that require constant stirring, and something like risotto will be too thick anyway. I’ll just stick with the spoon, thanks.
Avocado slicer
Avocados confuse many impatient eaters because of their soft flesh and protected pit. Someone decided we all needed a tool to split, pit, and slice an avocado. We don’t do that.
An avocado slicer is an oddly shaped plastic device with a sharp blade on one end and a rounded end with five or six thin plastic dividers that are designed to slice the fruit while you scoop it. There may be a recess in the center of the device with metal teeth for unscrewing the pit, but not every one has this feature (the one in the picture above doesn’t seem to have it).
-
The blade stinks. The plastic blade replacement end is short and located exactly where the heel of your palm lands when you use the scooping end. Even though it’s somewhat boring, the sharp plastic is still awkward to hold in your hand.
-
The scooping end leaves a lot to be desired. Besides the fact that the end of the spatula is universal (sorry, people who have larger varieties of avocados), the “blades” intended for slicing meat are dull plastic strips. Instead of pure avocado slices, you’ll end up with mashed strips. This works for guacamole, but of course not as accurately as a knife.
Instead, buy a great knife:
While the pitting portion of the tool (if you have one) is actually quite effective, overall the slicer pales in comparison to a chef’s knife or santoku. If your avocado is ripe (don’t hold it too tightly if it’s not yet), you can easily cut the avocado into segments, twist (or pull out ) the pit and remove the skin to get all the precious greens out. Then use the same knife to cut it into thin or thick slices.
Breakfast Sandwich Manufacturer
I always give so-called “single-taskers” the benefit of the doubt. Mainly because they can be capable of much more than what the label says. Let’s take a waffle iron for example. To limit your talent to waffles would be a sad underutilization. This is one of the most versatile kitchen appliances you can have in your kitchen. However, the breakfast sandwich maker is largely a dull tool.
The breakfast sandwich maker is a very specific device, similar to a waffle iron, but with three-inch round plates, and lots of them. The idea is that you can place each part of the sandwich on one of the plates to get it heated to perfection. It looks cute in pictures—a bit like a child’s toy—but in practice it gives a headache to an adult.
-
The plates are round. You need to use an English muffin, a round piece of ham or sausage, and other ingredients that are the perfect size.
-
No runny yolks. You can add an egg with the yolk intact, but once you’ve covered your plates, you won’t have much of a choice. I hope you enjoy the broken yolk.
-
Additional cleaning. An efficient appliance will make cooking faster or easier, and while assembling a sandwich this way may take 30 seconds less time, you’ll have to spend more time cleaning the cooking rings, plates, and access panel.
It’s hard to beat a good skillet:
So far, I haven’t found a better tool for making a breakfast sandwich than a frying pan. You can fry the bacon, throw the bread in there so it sizzles quickly in drippings (because fry bread is the best bread ), and cook the eggs in the same pan; as much as you like and in any style .
Food chopper
The food chopper is designed to be a gadget that can do it all: dice, slice, grate and even mash. But ultimately, it’s another tool that’s more like exercising your arms than if you just set up a cutting board.
-
Blades are a risky game. The device comes with a variety of different blades and graters, but they are made of thin metal and only work under ideal circumstances. Fruits or vegetables should be the right size to push through and not too hard. If you try to push raw beets through the attachment, you’ll end up with a broken chopper pretty quickly.
-
You may still have to cut. Again, the tool works under the right circumstances. It’s impossible to get all the russet through the dicing blades; It’s too big. The mushrooms are soft and small enough to pop out, but larger items will need to be cut into four or five pieces. If you’ve already started chopping with a knife, why not dice the rest of the potatoes?
-
Cleaning sucks. Any time you save pressing mushrooms with this grinder is wasted deep cleaning the channels and grooves of the device. Over time, the blades will become dull and hard-to-reach corners will become clogged.
Since you’re getting your cutting board and knife dirty and getting elbow grease pushing ingredients through a metal grate, you’re better off sticking to your knife and cutting board for regular meals. For larger jobs, a device like a food processor is worth the money.
A highly rated food processor deserves a place in your kitchen:
Bagel cutter
A bagel cutter, also painfully called a bagel guillotine, is another fun variation on what a knife can do. This three-piece, two-piece trinket has an interior that can accommodate a bagel. You push the second section, equipped with a triangular blade, down onto the donut holder and the blade cuts the donut. Everything is fine. Only good.
-
It’s a space sucker. The gadget itself works and I can see how it saves time for someone cutting a few bagels. But as someone with a small kitchen and limited storage space, I don’t like how bulky it is.
-
The blade doesn’t last long. Unlike a regular knife, the blade inside a bagel knife cannot be sharpened. After about a year of use, the blade will become dull and you will notice that the bagels are being squished instead of being cut.
-
Only one size. Like the avocado slice, this tool cannot be adjusted to fit the size of the product. Very thin or small bagels can tilt and cut at odd angles, but big, hefty New York bagels? Fuggetaboodit, they don’t even fit in the holder.
There are undoubtedly people who have two left feet when it comes to slicing a bagel, and this device is their best friend. I understand and I like it for you. But becoming familiar with safe horizontal cuts is not that difficult or time consuming.
When it comes to outfitting your kitchen and cutting down on the number of random gadgets you have, think about all the tasks you can actually accomplish with a knife. Simple cuts and knife maintenance are easy to do with a little practice and will be worth it in the end.