16 Simple Ways to Create More Meaningful Memories With the People You Love

In 2011, on a flight to Portland, Oregon, I saw physicist Michio Kaku doing long calculations using a pencil and pad. I thought, “Damn, I just occupied the same position as Michio Kaku doing physics.” That evening our paths crossed again at the world famous Powell’s Books , where Kaku was signing his latest book. Why is this day so memorable to me (but probably not to Michio Kaku)? It was my first visit to Portland, my first time at Powell’s, my first meeting with the famous physicist. Plus, repetition makes things more memorable, and I’ve probably told this story 100 times.

According to Meik Viking, founder of the Happiness Institute and author of The Art of Memories: How to Create and Remember Happy Moments , there are eight factors that can help strengthen memories: the power of discovery, using the senses, and getting attention. , creating meaning, adding emotion, experiencing ups and downs, sharing stories and outsourcing your memories. Below you’ll find ideas on how to use each concept to create memories with loved ones.

Harness the power of pioneers

New impressions especially “stick” to our memory cards. For example, what do you remember better: your first kiss or your tenth kiss? Try these tips to fill your memories with new experiences.

• Viking recommends visiting a new place every year. You could try visiting a different country every year or staying closer to home. Draw a 100 mile radius around your home. There are sure to be parks, restaurants, small towns, local monuments or secluded streets that you have never seen before. Even if you’ve been there before, has your partner or your child been there? Take advantage of their first time to create a new memory together.

• Take a lesson together. Choose something neither of you have tried before to share memories of learning together. Try one kickboxing class or sign up for a whole semester of flower arranging; it’s up to you. Virtual classes also count.

Make it multisensory

If we’ve learned anything from Marcel Proust, it’s that cookies dipped in tea can be a powerful memory trigger. You may be most aware of what you see when you perceive something memorable, but don’t forget about the tastes, smells, sensations and sounds you pick up.

• Sometimes food is an afterthought, but for ideal memory formation, food is a great tool for a rich sensory experience. Whether you’re at the playground with the kids on a summer morning or strolling the narrow streets of Rome, look for opportunities to slow down and let food make memories for you. Try a new agua fresca flavor or a piece of ice cream. On any normal day, encourage your kids to pick out new foods and head to the park for a tasting picnic.

• Start a touch round robin tournament. Ask your family members to stop and talk about what they see, smell, hear, taste, and feel. Engaging each person’s feelings in the moment will help you cement the memories. Record these reflections in a notes app or voice memo so you can refer to them later.

Pay attention

This is what the ubiquitous advice to “practice mindfulness” boils down to: you won’t notice anything if you’re not aware, and you won’t remember anything if you’re not paying attention. Try these tips to pay more attention and create stronger memories.

• Follow the digital post. Try this for an hour, a day, or a whole day: put down your phones and devices and be fully connected to each other and your surroundings. If quitting your phone isn’t challenging enough for you, pretend the power is out and play games by candlelight.

• Notice your “glimmers”—micro-moments of joy, security, peace, or satisfaction. Among your friends and family, normalize admitting that a song makes you shiver or when you spot a hummingbird fills you with delight.

Make sense

Meaning makes moments more memorable, writes Viking. To turn an ordinary day into a memory, connect it to something personal and meaningful in your life.

• Celebrate more. Birthdays and anniversaries are memorable because we make them meaningful. Why not expand the “meaning” to fill more days of your life? Celebrate half birthdays, Fridays and full moons with your own rituals, toasts or cupcakes.

• Take advantage of little-known holidays to start new traditions. Who cares if it’s mostly a made-up marketing tactic? May 4th is Herb Day, and coincidentally, it’s the perfect time to freshen up your magical little window garden every year. With hundreds of options, you can find several “holidays” that can be turned into an annual family tradition, depending on what is important to you.

Let your emotions be a bright accent

Greater feelings are associated with more vivid memories. What makes you feel excited, scared, overwhelmed or triumphant?

• Do something scary. You don’t even have to be a thrill-seeker who skydives or free climbs. Choose from roller coasters, ghost tours or karaoke.

• Want to increase your heart rate without any real danger? Try virtual reality. If you can’t be in the same place with your loved ones or can’t go on exotic adventures, recreate the thrill with VR travel experiences and games . Even a casual virtual hangout can be a great way to connect with someone you care about.

Capture peaks and valleys

Of course, it’s cool when everything goes smoothly. But in fact, most life experiences involve a little bit of yummy stuff as well as some nasty stuff. Make memories better by appreciating both the joy of victory and the agony of defeat.

• Choose the longer and more difficult path. You, like me, may prefer driving from Texas to Massachusetts instead of flying because you’re trying to preserve childhood memories. We remember both the disappointment of the hotel’s indoor pool and the delight of an unexpected room upgrade. We struggled to mine diamonds in the hot Arkansa sun and were happy to make do with the shiny stones we bought at the gift shop. The ups and downs come together to create wonderful memories.

• Go towards a big goal, noting all the difficulties and victories along the way. Whether you decide to train for a half marathon or renovate your home, there will be many challenging moments before the big win at the end. Make the whole experience memorable by paying attention to when things go wrong and how good it feels to overcome challenges.

Share stories

Just like my story about the flying physicist, your memories become stronger when you and your loved ones share stories. Combine your retellings into a new, better story with more details than you could remember on your own.

• Create a collection that will turn your memories into real stories. I find stickers are perfect for this purpose. They don’t take up much space and automatically transport you to the place and time where you bought them. Bonus points if you decorate your journal with stickers detailing each experience.

• On the anniversary of an event or trip, print out the photos and encourage the children to turn them into a storybook or poster with memories of that day. Viking suggests that the end of the year is a good time to choose Happy 100 photos that tell the story of your entire year. Make it an annual tradition to print out your “Lucky 100” in a memory book and look back on memory books from years past.

Outsourcing memories

Finally, don’t rely on your own neurons for all your memory. Think of all the ways you can store memories outside of your brain: the aforementioned memory book, diary, or keepsake collection serve as repositories for memories. Here are a couple more options:

• Create a personal social media account just for memory storage. You get your life story with memories and photos in one neat digital package without worrying about anyone judging or harassing you.

• Create a new family playlist for every season or trip. Listen to the same songs for a week on the beach, and years later those songs will still remind you of the sea breeze and sandy feet.

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