Give Your Meat-Loving Valentine a “hearty Dish”
My first “serious” boyfriend didn’t like chocolate. But instead of explaining that he preferred the milkshake (strawberry), he lied and told everyone (including me) that he was “allergic” to cocoa. When I found out the truth (only after we parted), I felt a little betrayed – as if I didn’t know him at all! And this was after he told me that he was gay. (I’m happy to help anyone figure out their sexual orientation, but don’t lie to me about your milkshakes!)
To love someone is to accept their strange food preferences and idiosyncrasies. My current partner is a “ketchup guy” if you can imagine, and I agreed that this cannot be changed. (Now I buy him huge Heinz bottles the size of a restaurant because they make him happy.) All of this suggests that you don’t need to conform to social norms when it comes to signs of affection. Chocolate isn’t the only thing you can put in a heart-shaped box; you can just as easily fill one with meat.
I must admit that this is not Claire Nizhniy’s original thought. All of my lovers have been chocolate aficionados ever since, but one day Beth Skorecki, Senior Health Editor at Lifehacker, ended up with Valentine (husband), who was not a fan of filled chocolates (and was also on a keto diet). So she did what any reasonable person would do: she bought a box of chocolates, ate the chocolate herself, and filled an empty box with cheese and meat.
This is a brilliant idea, and it makes sense because Beth is known for her talent. And unlike complex meat bouquets, which require good meat styling, filling small holes with appetizers (hereafter known as “hearty platter”) is a project that can be done by someone who doesn’t have significant fine motor skills. (I am hysterically unskilled as a sculptor, but even I have managed to roll prosciutto into rose-like shapes.)
It’s really nothing special: buy some chocolate – preferably one you like – eat it (or save to eat later), then scrub any random chocolate bits out of the holes and cover them with meat, cheese, nuts, olives. , and any other accessory that you think your beloved will like. (If you do use olives, pickles, or anything that comes in brine, be sure to blot them with paper towels first.) If necessary, edit any markings on the box – for example, replace “Whitman Sampler” with “MEAT Sampler” – then close the box and give a hearty meal to a loved one who loves meat and / or cheese. Be sure to use the word “heart affair”. Puns are very sexy.