You Can Avoid Flowers for Valentine’s Day (and What to Give Instead)
Whether you like it or not, Valentine’s Day is here. “But the holiday is fictitious!” You scream. “All holidays are made up,” I calmly answer. “We live in a society.”
No matter how much you want to tie it to the Hallmark industrial complex, and no matter how much your loved one assures you that they ” don’t really want gifts ,” the fact is that we’ve all been conditioned to feel the need to meet the minimum for romantic gifts every February 14th. And no, you can’t successfully overcome a lifetime of Valentine’s Day propaganda by deciding to stress your partner out on the gift-giving front. Hallmark will never know about your act of resistance, but your loved one will.
So, are roses worth buying? What do the different colors mean? Are lilies equally romantic or would that be a faux pas? I have the answer to all your bouquet-related problems: Valentine’s Day flowers are overrated . Seriously. Even if you choose a dozen red roses, you’ll still need another gift on top of them—ideally, something more thoughtful and less cheesy.
To complicate your life, every gift list on the Internet seems to say that all women have a dangerous addiction to rosé wine and all men literally live in the woods. That’s why I’ve broken down the most important elements of romantic gift giving so you can successfully come up with the perfect gesture over the next few days. Here’s why you should ditch the Valentine’s Day flowers in favor of these ideas that are more creative, cost-effective, and meaningful.
Capture Memories
Show your love with a trip down memory lane. Framing can be expensive, but unlike flowers, it symbolizes permanence. When we’re used to storing all our photos in our phones, printing and framing one is a thoughtful way to show how much your memories mean to you.
Other ideas in this category of memories: a personalized journal , a love letter album , or even an iMovie montage of your favorite songs.
Find a way to say “treat yourself”
Taking care of yourself is always appreciated, especially if you can splurge on something that your lover would never buy for himself. The secret here is to combine individual items into a carefully curated treat-yourself package. The candle itself will do. A candle with a bath bomb, slippers and a bottle of wine? Now you’ve created a DIY day of decadence.
Here’s the most heteronormative thing I’ll write today: Guys, don’t buy lotion for girls. She knows what kind of lotion she likes and she already has enough.
Promise experience
If you’re investing in a shared experience in the future, try to find a physical embodiment to wrap it up now. Try a new game for game night , a couple’s wish list , or print out tickets to a surprise concert.
Show that you’ve been listening
Remember that a Valentine’s Day gift doesn’t have to be romantic. Personalization is the most important thing here. Do they have a favorite hot sauce that can only be purchased at a local restaurant? Do they need new merchandise for their favorite sports team? They’ve been needing new headphones for months? This assumes that you have actually been paying attention to your loved one for some time. Otherwise, from now until February 14th, squeeze every word they say for gift ideas.
Cook a delicious meal (alone or together)
My advice is to turn home cooking into a date night. You can put on a show by donating all the individual ingredients, or print out a personalized menu to make a fancy dinner at home even more sophisticated. Even if you’re not a chef, cooking together touches almost all love languages:
-
Quality time. Play some music while you cook together.
-
Service certificates. You are literally feeding them.
-
Receiving gifts. A plate of spaghetti is always a gift.
-
Physical touch: Rub your hands together while stirring the marinara sauce.
-
Words of affirmation: “You are such a good cook!” “Not you!” “Let’s stay together forever.” See?
Personalize a classic for Valentine’s Day
What about succulents instead of flowers? Or any other plant that could become a more permanent and less commonplace fixture in their home? (Probably not any other plant. Although I think ficus can be very romantic.)
Instead of settling for overpriced Valentine’s Day chocolates, why not stock up on treats that are actually your Valentine’s favorite candies? Maybe that means one of those giant tubs of flavored popcorn or personally making a bouquet of beef jerky. Again, if you’re really unsure of what to buy, most people will be happy to see this heart-shaped box.
In the end, it is the thought that matters. If you think about how much you care about this person, then that feeling should show through in any gift you receive. And if that gift is flowers, I won’t stop you. Happy Valentine’s Day, from one cynical bastard to another.