How to Raise Children Who Are Not Shy About Their Appearance
Nearly two-thirds of parents report their child is insecure about some aspect of their appearance , according to the National Children’s Health Survey conducted by C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital at University of Michigan Health . On top of this, one in five parents say their teens don’t like to have their photos taken because they’re too shy.
“Children begin to form opinions about their bodies and appearance at a very early age,” says Dr. Susan Wolford, a pediatrician at C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital at the University of Michigan.
While it may be easy to attribute a child’s negative opinions about their appearance to social media, they can also be due to interactions with peers, strangers, or family members. But how can parents instill body positivity in their children? We suggest some simple things you can do to help children avoid shyness and accept themselves for who they are.
Do they appear pessimistic or self-conscious?
While retailers strive for body diversity and body positivity in their advertising, Woolford says there are some warning signs parents can look out for if their child is concerned or has negative feelings about their appearance. Behaviors may include constantly talking about how they look, sudden use of fad diets, or excessive exercise.
“We looked at things like not wanting to be in photographs,” she says. “Some children may not want to be on certain social networks or attend events. If it seems to be affecting their quality of life or self-esteem, this may prompt parents to take action.”
Help children develop a critical view of the media.
It’s one thing to know what your child is doing online, but how is he processing that content? Wolford recommends helping your child develop a critical eye for what they see in all media, including social media. For example, a few years ago, Dove ran an advertising campaign demonstrating the work and manipulation required to create billboards. This can be the starting point for a longer conversation. You can also start by asking, “Can these images be achieved in a healthy way?” “Was it corrupted in some way?” “For whom is this?”
“Parents can teach their children to be media literate and savvy so they understand that images of the ideal body, face and appearance in advertising, the media and even from their own friends do not reflect reality,” says Woolford.
Social media isn’t the only culprit
Concerned parents and social observers were concerned about the consequences of elusive beauty standards long before the advent of Instagram, TikTok and other social media platforms. Many parents who took part in a national survey reported that real-life interactions have a more significant impact than social media on their child’s self-esteem. Wolford recommends parents talk to children, strangers or other family members who are perpetuating negative body image in their children.
Change your motivation
Advertising for diet and exercise programs and products tends to focus on how their services will make you look rather than how you will feel when you finish. Woolford says parents should focus not on lowering the number on the scale, but on how better nutrition and more exercise can help improve your health.
She also believes that conversations about food should be done in a similar way, since fruits, vegetables and other foods contain all the vitamins and minerals we need for every organ to function well.
“The reasons for being at a healthy weight aren’t about the way we look or the clothes we wear,” she explains. “That’s because we’ll probably do better. The vessels will likely remain nice, open, and clear for blood to flow through. Our lungs function well. Our hearts work well. I think we need to reframe the conversation around food and activity so that it’s all about helping our bodies perform optimally.”
Negative feelings about appearance are not limited to gender.
When Wolford began the survey, she thought the issues it addressed primarily affected girls. However, the data showed something surprising.
“Although the data showed that a higher percentage of parents of girls reported that their child had anxiety, the percentage of boys was quite significant,” she says.
Children of both sexes between the ages of 8 and 18 tend to be self-conscious about their weight, skin, hair, teeth, height and certain facial features, making men just as vulnerable to depression, eating disorders and low self-esteem. -read.
Remind children that this is not forever.
A child’s body changes rapidly due to puberty, which means that the aspects of their appearance that children tend to focus on will fade over time. Wolford suggests parents show children what they looked like as children so they can see that skin and dental problems are just a phase.
“Parents can recognize that we all feel a little uncomfortable about something,” she says. “But it doesn’t define us or affect our self-esteem or self-esteem.”