Use This Structure to Give Your Child Plenty of Rest Time.
Piano lessons. Football practice. Homework. Activities like these can take up a large portion of our children’s schedules, leaving them little time to interact with friends and family or simply enjoy childhood, whether they are seven or 17 years old.
Imagine a day in the life of a child. They study at school for six to eight hours. In addition to extracurricular activities, they may be responsible for caring for a younger sibling or working part-time. A rigid schedule does not benefit a child’s academic performance or mental health. It is very important to include time spent with family, friends or yourself in your daily routine.
We’ll discuss some innovative ways to incorporate downtime into your and your baby’s schedule so they (and you) can live a more balanced lifestyle.
What is “down time”?
Remember your own childhood. You could lie on the grass to feel the warm sun and breeze, or spend the day engrossed in a book. Perhaps on a lazy Saturday you built a blanket fort with your sibling or played with a parent. Remember the fatigue after a morning game leading to a pleasant sleep?
These are instances of pure downtime: moments without any obligations or structure, just a period of silence to relax your mind and body. These days, academic commitments, extracurricular activities, and technology have made this time scarce. But modern problems have modern solutions.
PDF structure
Denise Pope, Ph.D., and her colleagues at the educational nonprofit Challenge Success have developed three different types of downtime that enable children to succeed: play time, downtime , and family time. The senior lecturer at Stanford University’s Graduate School of Education and author of Overwhelmed and Underprepared: Strategies for Stronger Schools and Healthy, Successful Kids calls it the PDF framework and has successfully integrated it into her family.
“I think adults need to set aside time during the day to let kids decide what they want to do,” Pope says. “We know that children often don’t have that choice. They have a very busy schedule during the day and need a break.”
The PDF format doesn’t necessarily mean kids should avoid screens and technology. As Pope explains, adults should act as a guard against overindulgence in certain activities.
“The adult should say, ‘Well, that’s okay for a while, but we’d also like you to learn some non-tech activities and here’s why,'” Pope says.
She describes playtime as unstructured and child-led rather than an adult-led extracurricular activity. It can be as simple as hanging out with friends, playing LEGO, or even creating music videos on your tablet.
“Game time is really critical,” Pope says. “Children need time to move, get outside, run… and be in nature. It can be truly restorative.”
Downtime is also unstructured. These are moments during the day when children read, relax and reflect, but the most important time of rest is sleep.
“We know how important sleep is for the brain,” Pope says. “Sleep is linked to learning and mental health.”
Since adults also have responsibilities, spending time with family can be more difficult. This could be a family dinner, a walk, or participating in small rituals at the end of the day.
“It could literally be anything that helps you relax, whether it’s playing a little video game or watching fun TV,” Pope says.
Pope also understands that things work out differently in every family. Caregivers may have to work two jobs, so how a family implements the PDF structure may vary for some households depending on their situation.
Prioritize what’s important
Just because you can involve your kids in every lesson, practice, and game doesn’t necessarily mean you should. This is probably something neither you nor they will be able to withstand over time. Pope explains that since parents act as the limiters of their child’s schedule, it is necessary to take a full look at it and think about what is important.
She recommends making a list of extracurricular activities, deciding which ones you think are non-negotiable, and asking your child to rate how much he enjoys the other activities on a scale of one to 10. For example, if he rates piano lessons at the bottom scales. It may not be right for them now, but that doesn’t mean they won’t play the piano in the future. The number one priority is for your family to spend time together and for your children to know that they are loved unconditionally.
“If you only talk about grades and homework when you’re together, you’re sending certain signals about what’s most important in your kids’ lives,” Pope says.
Take time for yourself
Even when your kids are asleep, you’re probably still working. This might mean washing dishes or spending extra time answering work emails. While we worry about overscheduling our kids, we probably do the same to ourselves.
“I know a lot of people don’t have a choice,” Pope says. “They work multiple jobs. They have a single parent. [But] if you can find time to work with your breath or enjoy five minutes of sunset, it makes a huge difference.”