How to React When Someone Says They’ll “Consider” Your Request (but They Don’t)

Whether it’s a co-worker, friend or family member, asking someone for something can be intimidating. So, when a person responds to your request with something evasive, such as, “I’ll look into it,” we can leave it that way without asking them for a deadline.

Unfortunately, there is a high probability that this approach will not give the results we need.

In an article for Harvard Business Review, Ray Ringel , an executive coach and faculty member at Georgetown University’s Transformational Leadership Institute, discusses what she calls “the art of inquiry,” including how to respond when someone keeps asking your questions. off. Here’s what you need to know.

How people respond to requests

Ringel says that ideally, when asking someone with a request, they will respond in one of four ways :

1. Adoption
2. Decline
3. Making a counteroffer (“I can’t deliver this to you today, but I can deliver it to you tomorrow by 6:00 p.m.”)
4. Significant delay (“I will get back to you with an answer by noon on Tuesday”)

However, if you receive a response that doesn’t fit into any of these four categories, you’re likely getting what Ringel calls a “no response,” which she says makes it more likely that your request will be ignored. or postpone indefinitely.

According to Ringel, some common cases of non-response include:

• I’ll look into this.
• This should work.
• I’ll come back to you.
• Let me check with X.
• Sounds great.
• I will do everything possible.
• I’ll assign someone to do this.
• I’ll see what I can do.
• Great idea.

What to do after receiving no response

Let’s say you asked a colleague for a list of your company’s competitors in your region. They responded that they would “look into the matter” but two weeks later they have not provided you with a list or even an update.

For now, Ringel says the ball is in your court and achieving results will require a strong commitment. For this to happen, you’ll need to make a “clearly stated request” – something she says “[doesn’t] come naturally to most of us.”

Making an effective request

According to Ringel, an effective query communicates five things:

1. What exactly do you want
2. Who do you want this from?
3. When you need it
4. What needs to happen for the request to be completed to your satisfaction
5. Request context and why it matters

“It’s important to be as detailed as possible when formulating the different components of your request,” Ringel explains.

For example, instead of telling someone you need something “as soon as possible,” “by the end of the week,” or “close of business,” give a specific date and time (for example, Friday, October 13, by 5 p.m. :00 EST). This will avoid confusion about exactly when the workday or week officially ends and will clarify your expectations.

Once you provide this information, do not take no for an answer. Instead, ask them to either accept, reject, make a counteroffer, or decisively put the offer on hold. Finally, Ringel recommends letting the person know when they can expect you to contact them with an update.