So Your Partner Has a Foot Fetish

Research shows that approximately one in seven people have had at least one sexual fantasy involving feet. Although feet are one of the most common sexual fetishes (and the most common non-genital-related), there is still a huge amount of misunderstanding and stigma surrounding it. If you’re with someone who has a foot fetish (i.e. podophilia), you’re far from alone, but all that stigma means you might have a hard time finding information about what you can do to please him. Let’s talk about it.

Why do people have foot fetishes?

Although foot fetishes are common, foot preferences can vary greatly from person to person. Some people can be turned on by just looking at their feet; others may find more pleasure from having them massaged and/or licked—and it doesn’t necessarily stop there. Fetishes tend to be a multi-sensory experience, so others can be aroused by helping a partner put on socks, stepping on them, or even just sniffing soles.

But why is this happening? Unfortunately, there is not enough research into where exactly foot fetishes originate, but there are several theories. The prevailing view is that podophilia originates in the brain.

The somatosensory nervous system is the part of the brain responsible for the perception of touch and pressure, and how we can perceive pleasure or pain. You can thank your somatosensory system for everything you feel. Your somatosensory system is organized in part by a map called the homunculus, shown below:

In this map you can see that the feet and toes are next to the genitals. Neural disruptions may occur, causing the feet to be eroticized in the same way as the genitals.

However, this is not the only hypothesis. Another theory is that fetishes are usually formed as a result of a learned response. In a 1966 study by Stanley Rahman , nude women were projected onto a screen for 15 seconds, followed by an image of a woman’s black boots for 30 seconds. Evidence suggests that participants eventually became aroused by looking at the black shoe.

Understanding why your partner wants to mess with your feet is difficult, but it’s much easier to know how to best accommodate them while still being comfortable.

Listen and ask questions about foot fetishes

Whether your partner has directly told you that he likes feet, or you’ve noticed that he’s particularly interested in your feet during sex, the best way to discuss it is to be open and listen. Amanda, a consultant at The Kink , says: “Keep the lines of communication open. Try to find common ground by discussing fantasies that interest both partners. Even if you don’t want to indulge your partner’s foot fetish (which is totally within your right!), being able to openly discuss it and help your partner understand why you’re not interested in engaging in any foot play can make him feel understood and accepted”.

Given the stigma surrounding your partner’s fetish, this can be a sensitive topic, so try to be non-judgmental. Try to find out what exactly they like. Some questions may include the following:

• What do you like about legs?
• What do you like about my legs?
• Is there anything about feet that you don’t like or want to explore?
• What would you like to include in our sex life?
• Is this foreplay? Is sex the ultimate goal of foot play or foot play for you?

Get into the details and discuss what you’re both comfortable with before anything actually happens.

Check yourself and your feet

You don’t have to force yourself to do something you’re not ready for or don’t feel comfortable doing. If you don’t feel comfortable doing something, say so!

However, be sure to also check your preconceptions at the door. Try to remember that the person with the fetish usually didn’t want to have it.

Amanda warns that “the stigma of a foot fetish has a lot to do with a general dislike of feet,” so “overcoming this particular prejudice will be more difficult because it is so widespread.” She says it’ll be easier to let go of previous judgments if you’re willing to look at why you think you hate feet: Is it the smell? Have you been told that legs are disgusting?

What to do to please your partner with a foot fetish

There are many activities that people who enjoy feet do. Regardless of your relationship, it’s best to start slow. Maintain an open dialogue with your partner before, during and after you try something. Here’s what you can try:

Selfie with feet

Try taking photos of your feet and sending them to your partner. There are so many different ways to do this. Perhaps your partner likes the arches of your feet, and you can try to emphasize this. Try crossing your legs, curling your toes to create wrinkles on the soles of your feet, etc. It’s much easier to take a quick photo of your feet under your desk at work than it is to send a completely naked photo from the bathroom, so this can be a safe and fun option. By sending a foot photo, your partner will understand that you want to turn him on and that you really like it.

Pedicure

Some people are turned on by well-groomed and polished feet, while others prefer dirty feet; talk to your partner about his preferences. If your partner prefers clean feet, a pedicure is a great way to start (and you’ll feel amazing, too). You can make it more collaborative by asking your partner what color nail polish he’d like on you, or even if he’d like to give you a pedicure at home.

Foot massage

If you’re looking to get more physical activity, a foot massage is a great place to start. Invite your partner to give you one (and pay attention to the areas he really likes to touch). This will be a great way for them to feel sexually aroused, and for you to relax and unwind.

Footwork

Some people like to explore their fetish through genital contact. If you’re up for it and your partner is interested, try rubbing your feet on his genital area. Discuss with them the level of pressure, speed and lubrication that they also like.

In short, foot fetish is much more common than you think, probably in part due to our brain’s somatosensory system. As with all fetishes and sex acts, you won’t be able to immediately know all the details of what turns your partner—and possibly you—on. Take your time, have fun, and you’ll figure it out together.