Viral Dough for Curd Biscuits for Athletes
Protein influencers on TikTok are back in action, trying to get cottage cheese to play a role it never asked for. They ditched cottage cheese ice cream and set their sights on “protein cookie dough” made with cottage cheese, protein powder, and almond flour.
Some (sometimes outrageously loud) TikTok videos claim that the mixture tastes “exactly like cookie dough”. This is not true, but if you haven’t tried real cookie dough in a long time, you might think so. It tastes like a “healthy” person’s idea of a treat, like black bean brownies or whatever my mom tried to feed me in the mid-90s (only her version would have been made with carob). This is cookie dough for athletes.
However, it doesn’t taste bad. In addition to cottage cheese, protein powder, and almond flour, there is maple syrup, vanilla extract, and chocolate chips. These ingredients bring the mixture closer to cookie dough, but several factors keep it from being “accurate”.
The main problem is taste. Almond flour is quite grainy even when added in small amounts and stirred after each addition. It is also not as hard as cookie dough; it’s more like cake batter, less fun to chew on than cookie dough. (It’s more like a “lick the bowl” situation.) It also has no oil in it, and you can tell.
Is it worth it to make a plate of cottage cheese “cookie dough”?
It all depends. It is worth noting that the creator of the recipe, Jake Cohen, does not claim that the dough for cottage cheese cookies tastes identical to the real one. Jake begins his video by saying that he’s “honestly ashamed” of sharing this recipe, but he’s “a little obsessed.”
Judging by Cohen’s torso (which you can see in several of his other videos), it’s safe to say that he’s a bit of a muscle. I’m also a bit (reluctantly) athletic. The bottom line for athletes is that most of us are obsessed with getting enough protein , and when you go into athlete mode, you’re trying to add extra protein to everything you eat, no matter the meal, time of day, or flavor profile. (I have been known to add protein powder to milkshakes.)
There’s nothing wrong with that, and there’s nothing wrong with making a bowl of something that tastes like the best version of filling in a cookie-flavored protein bar. Turning protein powder into dessert is fine if it makes it a little easier to achieve your macro goals or helps you fight cravings you might be trying to avoid, but TikTok and its ilk rarely allow thin framing. Instead of “this protein thing tastes like cookie dough” you get “OH GOD, it tastes EXACTLY like cookie dough” which sets off a pump for discussion, backlash and everything else that generates clicks and engagement online.
How to make better cookie dough
There are a few things you can do to make cottage cheese cookie dough taste and feel more real. First add more maple syrup along with a pinch of salt. The syrup will make it sweeter (obviously), and raw cookie dough always tastes like sodium, both from the added salt and any baking powder.
Jock Cookie Dough Accessories:
Chilling the “dough” also does wonders for it. This strengthens it and gives the almond flour a little more time to absorb excess moisture, making it a little less grainy on the teeth (although it’s still a little grainy). Oh, and don’t skimp on the chocolate chips.
With these modifications, this high-protein blend tastes like the treat you’ll find in a neat little plastic tub at Whole Foods sold to gym-going moms as a protein-rich alternative to “bad” cookie dough. After cooling down, I ate a fair amount. It didn’t taste quite the same as cookie dough, but it was pretty close and it was a nice way to reach my 90 grams of protein per day goal.
Athlete cookie dough
Ingredients:
- 8 oz cottage cheese
- 3 tablespoons maple syrup
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- 2 large pinches of salt
- 1/4 cup vanilla protein powder
- 1 cup almond flour
- 1/2-3/4 cup chocolate chips
Mix the first four ingredients together until smooth. Stir in the protein powder, then the almond flour, a few tablespoons at a time, mixing after each addition to make the dough as smooth as possible. Add chocolate chips, transfer to an airtight container and refrigerate for several hours before eating.