The Best Positions for Sex When One of You Is Much Taller

Sex can be uncomfortable even if you’re good at it, but add to that a significant height difference between you and your partner, and you could end up with a whole different level of bias.

“Height difference usually comes into play when you’re trying to have penetrative sex, and [most often] when you’re having sex standing up,” says Gigi Angle, ACS, certified sex educator and sex life expert at 3Fun . Lifehacker. “The problem is, your genitals just don’t line up the way you want them to, and one partner can feel like [he’s] being suffocated by the other person’s torso.”

If this has been a problem for you before, the taller person may have been trying to lift the shorter person to meet them at their height, but as Angle says, this can be awkward and/or tiring. Instead, as she puts it, “we have to be willing to think outside the box.”

“Height differences force you to be more creative with sex positions, which can make it necessary to try new things and positions,” she explains. “This is an opportunity to explore and find different ways of having sex that are right for you and your partner. It can be a very exciting journey of discovery.”

While there’s nothing you can do to change your height, Angle offers some amazing sex positions for partners with significant height differences. Here are a few of her favorites.

Bed stand simple, lazy and very hot

According to Angle, this take on missionary gives you deep penetration without either partner experiencing arm strain. In this situation, the shorter partner is lying on the bed and the taller partner is standing next to him.

“Lie on your back and have your partner stand next to the bed,” she explains. “Get down so that your ass is right at the edge. Let them enter you while standing. You can either wrap your legs around his waist or pull them close to your body. Bonus points if you can reach your ankles to their shoulders! Do whatever is comfortable for you. It’s kind of an extreme lazy human pose where you still look very sexy.”

The adjusted size 69 is perfect for any pair.

It’s a modified version of the time-honored ’69, Angle says, but adjusted slightly for height differences. Since you’re both in the same position, Angle says, height shouldn’t be a major factor at all, as you can easily adjust to whatever’s comfortable for you.

“Instead of climbing on top of your partner to shove your stuff in his face, give each other oral sex on your side, facing each other,” she describes. “Because you’re different heights, this position is easy because your legs won’t get in the way. It’s an easy position that doesn’t involve choking, exhaustion, or lack of orgasms.”

The lotus position is intimate and exciting

This is a very intimate position for penetration and stimulation of the clitoris. Typically, the lower partner will go on top, but Angle says this can work either way – just adjust it for the best fit.

“Climb onto your partner’s knees, facing him,” she illustrates. “Let them enter you while sitting. You can wrap your arms around his shoulders or neck for support. Rock back and forth for optimal clitoral stimulation [if applicable]. Remember your legs. This is where most of the height difference comes into play. Lotus allows you to get close face to face without having to jump and/or climb your partner like a tree. The legs don’t get in the way, which should make it very doable for both sides.”

How to choose the best position for a difference in height

Assessing the best positions for height differences, Angle notes that it might be better not to focus so much on penetration. “Oral sex, hand sex, and sex with toys are all options at your disposal,” she says.

That being said, she recommends getting creative with the different surfaces in your home (such as counters, couches, tables, etc.). “It can give a lower person a boost and doesn’t make a higher person support anyone,” she explains.

Regardless of which position you end up choosing, Angle stresses that sex is ultimately about pleasure, not about “achieving” certain positions. “Focus on the sex that you really enjoy, not the sex you think you should have,” she says.