Why You Should Aim for Satisfaction, Not Happiness

It’s senior season, which means that in addition to graduates asking the scary question (“So what’s next?”), it’s also the time of year when people are giving away unsolicited and outdated – or at least largely unrealistic – career advice.

These clichés, which consist largely of quotes from the book Oh, the Places You Will Go, as well as the enduringly popular “find a job that makes you happy,” are largely based on the idea that happiness should be our ultimate goal in life. life.

Though well-intentioned, this kind of advice reinforces the idea that finding “happiness” means we’re making progress, while anything less than that equates to some sort of failure. That’s why some experts say that instead of the endless pursuit of happiness, we’d better focus on self-actualization. Here’s what you need to know.

Why the pursuit of happiness can backfire

Most people are programmed to think of “happiness” as achieving certain goals, such as getting a “dream job,” or reaching certain milestones in life, such as buying a house or getting married.

“If you think you will only be happy if you have a certain job, for example, then you are in real trouble because it can be taken away from you at any moment.” – Patrick Vanis, human behavior expert, MD philosophy. said Psycom in a recent interview. “The constant pursuit of what is called “happiness” automatically tells you that it is not here.”

Why Seek Satisfaction Instead of Happiness

Fulfillment, on the other hand, is not a specific, single goal, but rather “the process of living a fulfilling life”, according to clinical psychologist Jennifer Barbera , Ph.D.

In practice, this means doing something that you are passionate about and/or really important to you, such as having time and money for travel or a certain hobby, helping promote a certain cause, or having time and money. mental and emotional breadth to maintain and build friendships.

This focus makes satisfaction more achievable and sustainable than the constant pursuit of happiness.

“Performance can help a person better deal with other feelings such as frustration, sadness, loss, and anger,” Barbera noted in the same Psycom interview . “It means working to embrace a range of emotions from joy and excitement to boredom, frustration, sadness, fear, anxiety, and even embarrassment or shame.”