Do’s and Don’ts in New Relationships

Although text messages are often looked down upon when it comes to developing a new relationship with someone, they can be a useful tool when meeting someone for the first time. This is a great way to flirt, and it helps strengthen bonding and intimacy. Plus, it’s an easy way to show someone what you think of them. That is, when it is used in an efficient manner.

According to Laurel House, one of Eharmony’s relationship experts, communication via text messages or dating apps should be limited to confirming the time and place of the first date, as well as thanking for the great time and setting the next date. “And if your next date is more than a week away, you can use text messages or messages on a dating app to set up a phone date,” she says. “After two dates, once you’ve gotten to know each other better in person, texting can be used to expand and deepen the connection, create conversation starters that you can delve into in person, and discuss topics that might seem intimidating to you. discuss face to face.

Below, House shares his tips on the do’s and don’ts to make texting work for your new relationship.

Text messages are needed in a new relationship

Write to them before an important meeting.

Or a tough conversation, or something else they might have told you on a date that might make them a little nervous. “This text is meant to show that you care about them, think about them and support them,” says House.

Send a message when you’re doing something fun without them… but only once.

“Send a message while you’re out of town,” House suggests. “They don’t need to be told in detail about what you do, but it’s nice to know that you think of them. Here’s an example: “Just had a great day surfing with friends. Now let’s go drink. I hope your day was great too!”

Send a photo of something special they mentioned on your date.

“If they mentioned they love watermelon gum, take a photo of a pack of watermelon gum and send a message if you spot it at the grocery store,” House says. But, she warns, do it with caution and not every time you see something that reminds you of them. Here is an example: “Today I was at the checkout at the supermarket and I happened to notice your favorite flavor of chewing gum. Made me think of you… I hope you’re having a great day.

The game “Two Truths and Lies”.

House recommends supplementing the text conversation with a fun game that digs into some subject at the same time as “two truths and a lie.”

“You can make it deep or light,” she says. “The point is to uncover and create conversation topics when you’re on the phone or in person.”

Here’s an example of how to set it up: “Today I was thinking about how happy I am to get to know each other a little better. So, in preparation for our date, let’s tease each other a little to think about… Let’s play Two Truths and a Lie: [insert your two truths and lies]. What is the lie? And you?”

Send a link to an article you think they’ll be interested in.

“It’s even better to submit an article on a topic that will be helpful to them—maybe in preparation for the meeting they mentioned, or before the difficult conversation they say they fear,” House says.

Submit a link to the song on YouTube.

Plus the reason it made you think about them. “We love expanding our playlists,” she says. “Just be deliberate with your song choice so your partner doesn’t over-analyze the lyrics.”

Texting is NOT allowed in a new relationship

• Don’t use text as a way to get to know each other before the second date. This should be done through a dating app, over the phone, and in person.
• Don’t text in a friendly way with questions about how your day went until you’re on your second date.
• Don’t jump straight to the text after one or two online dating exchanges. First, get to know each other better on a dating app.
• Not drunk text.
• Don’t check in daily (like “good morning” or “good night”) until you’ve been on multiple dates and only if they reciprocate.
• Don’t ask them to entertain you. “I’m bored, tell me something funny” or something like that is not their job. “They might be busy doing something important, and you write that you’re bored and need them to keep you entertained,” House says. “Serious shutdown.”
• Don’t text. “This means you are constantly sending multiple messages before they respond.”
• Don’t write novels. Messages should be short.
• Don’t have sex until your relationship has developed (and you have received consent).

Also, when it comes to building your relationship through texting, House recommends the following formula: ask, share, ask to create interesting and engaging conversations. “Ask a question. Share your story or insight around it, circle the question asked again, but in a different way.