20 Movies That Definitely Haven’t Gone Old
Movies become obsolete on their own for various reasons.
Sometimes what seemed beautiful as a child seems silly to adults . In other cases, the “why” is more complicated – remember “Rambo III” and “Living Daylights” , portraying the jihadist mujahideen as heroes, because at that time they were fighting the Soviets. Standards are changing, too, often for the better — we don’t look at Gone with the Wind’s obvious racism with the same tolerance we once did, and we don’t celebrate the rape culture that crept into 1980s comedy on the same show. way (at least we say we don’t). Or maybe it’s because the language of filmmaking has changed, or the special effects that used to be the norm are distracting in 2023. Looking back with a more critical eye, in my experience, is usually positive. The price of growth, both as individuals and as a culture, requires us to look back with some embarrassment and strive for the best. The films don’t have to be bad (although some of them are, frankly, complete crap); time complicates the legacy of most films, but this is more so than most.
Breakfast at Tiffany’s (1963)
In fact, there was no need for Blake Edwards’ adaptation of a Truman Capote novella to indulge in an overzealous, undeniably racist characterization of famous Caucasian actor Mickey Rooney I. Y. Younioshi, Asian landlord Holly Golightly. Returning to the worst stereotypes of the World War II propaganda era, Yunioshi is presented as a squinted, clumsy, toothy stereotype of an Orientalist whose sole purpose is comic relief – a “comedy” that deals solely with the apparently internal stupidity of the Japanese. , in general, and funny false teeth in particular. The character in the novel is nowhere near as caricatured, and Rooney’s farce seems out of place against the rest of the film’s subdued tone, tinged with regret. Even contemporary reviews noted the character’s dissonance and offensiveness, and I’ve never been able to watch him without every scene spoiling the good impression. (If you’re experiencing similar difficulties, good news: Mickey Rooney forgives you .)
Where to stream (if you want): Paramount+
Romeo and Juliet (1968)
Franco Zeffirelli’s take on Shakespeare’s play is both bold and problematic, and has been debated for decades. The lavish production dared to cast real teenagers in the lead roles, an innovation that should come as no surprise… except that it had rarely been done before (the previous 1936 film adaptation had actors in their 30s). By heightening the emphasis on growing sexuality, Zeffirelli took a dangerous path; there’s something to be said for the sober treatment of the subject, but the film’s nudity has been controversial for decades. More recently, stars Olivia Hussey and Leonard Whiting filed a lawsuit , alleging they were coerced and tricked into appearing nude in the film.
Where to stream (if you want): Kanopy
Animal House (1978)
The typeface that spawned an era of lewd sluts and snobbish teen comedies (think Revenge of the Nerds , Police Academy , Porky ), Animal House is hard to reconsider. There are hilarious moments, but also plenty of scenes that highlight the culture of sexual assault we still live in. an unconscious girl who we later learn is 13 (he doesn’t, but still). John Belushi’s Bluto spies on unsuspecting sorority girls in the nude, while a trip to a roadside diner reveals the film’s only black characters are threatening our protagonists because they want to steal their white dates. Enlightened things.
Where to stream (if you want): Netflix.
Blue Lagoon (1980)
The late 1970s, a great time for American cinema in general, also spawned a subgenre of films that were becoming increasingly uncomfortable for the modern eye. It was a Woody Allen world where a movie like Manhattan , about a man in his 40s dating a 17-year-old girl, seemed perfectly reasonable, at least to all the other men going through a midlife crisis and fantasizing about its own sequel. sexual relevance. “The Blue Lagoon” is a little different in that the two main characters (Brooke Shields and Christopher Atkins) are at least age-matched, but its story of a sexual awakening on an island seems overly lustful – as if we should appreciate their youthful innocence. gawking at their lithe, mostly naked bodies. Shields herself recently spoke about how she dislikes the marketing and approach to the film that overemphasizes her youth (she was 14 at the time).
Where to stream (if you want): HBO Max.
Arthur (1981)
I adore Arthur (and his all-time great theme song), but it’s hard not to find the film’s obnoxious flippant treatment of alcoholism circa 2023. Dudley Moore plays the title character as a venerable sweet drunk, a type of character that goes back to Shakespeare. Falstaff, so the mores of the 80s are not particularly to blame. However, Arthur drives drunk and has a great time when he’s not acting a little despondent, and the plot recipe for him is the love of a good woman (the phenomenal Liza Minnelli) rather than traveling down the road to recovery.
Where to broadcast (if you want): Digital rental.
Sixteen Candles (1984)
Like much of John Hughes’ writing from the 80s, Sixteen Candles combines charming and funny elements with plot points that stale almost immediately. Quite obviously, Chinese exchange student Gedde Watanabe Long Duk Dong is a rare example of a person of color wandering into any of the writer/director’s films, and he is head to toe an Asian stereotype, his every appearance accompanied by the sound of a damn gong . At the very least, Hughes hired an Asian-American actor to play the character, although he did not distinguish between Chinese dong and Japanese-American Watanabe. Less explicit, but just as unsettling, is the film’s relationship with consent: Ted (Anthony Michael Hall) stalks an uninterested Sam (Molly Ringwald) in his voice to the point where she gives him a pair of her underwear in exchange for being left alone. . He later trades said crates for another guy to spend some time alone with his unconscious Caroline (Haviland Morris). It is not entirely clear what happens next, but in any case it is alarming.
Where to stream (if you want): Hulu
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984)
Always the smallest of the original Indiana Jones trilogy, The Temple of Doom still has enough action-adventure spirit (and that memorable Ke Hai Quan performance) to recommend it overall. The problem lies in the depiction of Hindus and Indian culture in a broader sense. While attempting to recreate the spirit of the 1930s adventure series, the film unfortunately carries much of the racist baggage associated with it. The Indian characters are either victims rescued by Indy, or cunning cultists/wizards who harvest organs. All this is too stereotyped; what was controversial at the time of its release looks worse 40 years later.
Where to stream (if you want): Paramount+
Short Circuit (1986)
All in all, a delightful sci-fi comedy for kids about a robot built for war who decides he’d better hang out with Ally Sheedy and Steve Gutenberg (there’s a good message about personal identity and autonomy) clouded over with goofy comic relief. sidekick Ben Jabituya, played by white actor Fisher Stevens in brown makeup, with an exaggerated Apu accent from The Simpsons along with various tedious false expressions. Even worse? The character takes on a leading role in the sequel.
Where to stream (if you want): Hoopla, Tubi
Miss Daisy Driving (1989)
Driving Miss Daisy will forever be among the highly acclaimed, well-meaning Oscar winners who wowed Academy members by addressing issues of race, highlighting the experiences and perspectives of white Americans. Jessica Tandy and Morgan Freeman are great, and there’s an undeniable charm to it all, but that’s the point. It’s sweet, with a pat of “can’t we all just get along?” accept racial harmony. Do the Right Thing , an undeniable classic with a much more complex and subtle story that came out the same year and didn’t even get a nomination.
Where to stream (if you want): HBO Max.
Dances with Wolves (1990)
From Driving Miss Daisy a year later, we jump to 1990s Dances with Wolves , another well-intentioned but clumsy attempt by a white filmmaker to touch on race relations. This one twists the story and also includes problematic portrayals of Native Americans: the Sioux characters are mostly presented in “noble savage” mode, while the Pawnee characters are exclusively villainous. The biggest problem is the hackneyed white savior, in which the Caucasian character is not only our guide to the world of Native Americans, but also the hero of the story. Because, as we know from history, white people were definitely on the side of the native North Americans.
Where to stream (if you want): AMC+
Chasing Amy (1997)
Chasing Amy is like the kind of movie that could have been made with strange voices going offstage. The story of Holden (Ben Affleck) being stalked by lesbian Alyssa (Joey Lauren Adams) could be an exploration of sexual fluidity or bisexuality, but instead it plays the role of a straight fantasy – spend enough time with a hot lesbian and you will eventually land her. It’s mostly well-intentioned, and so close to the job, but the focus on the straight dude’s desire for an unattainable woman means he ends up feeling a lot less innovative than he thinks.
Where to stream (if you want): Paramount+
Conspiracy Theory (1997)
For some reason, this catchy thriller starring Mel Gibson and Julia Roberts and directed by Richard Donner, in which it turns out that a paranoid loner’s ravings about a vast global network of deception turns out to be accurate, hits the post in different ways. -Yan. 6, mid-pandemic, anti-vaccination era. Strange. (Also Mel Gibson, ugh)
Where to broadcast (if you want): Digital rental.
Never Kissed (1999)
On the surface, a very sweet film starring the ever-adorable Drew Barrymore as a 25-year-old proofreader who takes on an undercover assignment as a high school student and finds herself getting hot for teacher Michael Vartan. They begin a flirtatious relationship that (thankfully) doesn’t go anywhere until Barrymore’s character reveals himself… after which the teacher becomes deeply upset by her lies. And maybe that she’s not a real teenager? Without even crossing a line, the film is rife with creepy undertones. Chances are the high school student you find attractive won’t be secretly older, so probably don’t flirt with them.
Where to stream (if you want): Disney+, Fubo, Hulu.
Little Hal (2001)
Shallow Hal plays Jack Black as a man mesmerized by the fact that he sees only the inner beauty in people, making the rather shallow character oblivious to the severity of Rosie’s new love interest, played by recent Oscar winner Gwyneth Paltrow in a fat suit. All he sees is skinny Rosie, and it all has something to do with the idea that we shouldn’t be so concerned about what’s outside. The problem (and not uncommon in this kind of film) is that the message of feeling good is completely belied by an almost constant barrage of fat jokes (not to mention the fact that representing “inner beauty” by conforming to conventional beauty standards is crayoned in a different way). ). Even the otherwise cute ending, in which Hal sees and accepts Rosie for who she really is, includes the final blow when Hal tries to pick her up but finds he can’t, of course.
Where to stream (if you want): Paramount+
The Mummy Returns (2001)
The second film , The Mummy , is a blurry copy of the original 1999 adventure, although an interesting one in its own right. But oh my god, VFX is badly outdated. To say that the title’s Scorpion King (captured by Dwayne Johnson’s move in his feature debut) looks like something out of a video game is doing video games a disservice, even to 22 year olds. Brendan Fraser has defended the effects as crap entertainment . I am more or less ready to go down this path with him, but the fact remains that what looked of poor quality in 2001 causes sharp irritation in 2023.
Where to broadcast (if you want): Digital rental.
Notepad (2004)
Rising as one of many love stories that look less romantic than creepy to modern eyes, The Notebook includes a scene in which the main character (Ryan Gosling) dangles from the top of a Ferris wheel and threatens to fall to his death if maimed. . Ellie Rachel McAdams continues to openly and loudly refuse to date him. Cute!
Where to stream (if you want): HBO Max.
Crash (2005)
“Maybe we’re all a little racist?” this is, I think, the inexplicable point that Crash , the winner of the Best Picture award, is trying to convey by pretending to be some kind of revelation. Overly ironic and full of redemptive arcs for its white characters, it presents a sentimental idea of racial harmony that is certainly too banal and simplistic, but especially so in 2023. He received awards because some members of the Academy were not going to vote. for a homo-cowboy movie, and I can’t imagine many bothering to watch it since then. (At least Don Cheadle is great.)
Where to stream (if you want): Showtime
2012 (2009)
This disaster movie by Roland Emmerich has a pretty incredible cast: Tandive Newton, John Cusack, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Danny Glover, etc. But otherwise, it’s about as generic as it gets. Add to that the fact that it was made to capitalize on the odd idea that the world would end in 2012 (thanks to deliberate misreading of pre-Columbian Mesoamerican calendars), and there really is no reason to rewatch the movie. If only the end of the world really came…
Where to stream (if you want): Hulu, Peacock, Fubo
Passengers (2016)
In Passengers, space traveler Jim Preston (Chris Pratt) wakes up in his hibernation pod 90 years early; the ship is on its way to a new Earth, and now it faces the rest of its life awake and alone, with no way back to sleep. A sad situation, of course, until he notices a pretty face among the other sleepers (Jennifer Lawrence) and decides to cyber-chase the details of her life (she’s a journalist) before waking her up and pretending it was a glitch. She eventually discovers his deceit, which ruined her dreams and plans and doomed her to live the rest of her life with no one but Chris Pratt – and of course she’s angry… at first. But she survives it and they live happily ever after. This is a good metaphor for destructive and toxic masculinity that you are likely to find, except that the self-justifying bastard here is not just a character from our point of view, he is presented as an empathetic hero. Fuck it.
Where to stream (if you want): TNT, TBS
Justice League (2017)
Part of me appreciates the chaotic era of DC superhero movies — a time when a movie could revolve around a piss can (thank you, Batman v Superman ), but the first wave of Warner Bros. The Cinematic Universe fell apart about halfway through the first film together. Unlike the airless, meticulous self-control of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, DC’s versatile style was fun to follow anyway. Justice League , originally conceived as a huge two-movie marquee, was eventually stripped down and pieced together by two very different directors (Zack Snyder and Joss Whedon), and it never feels anything less than the Frankenstein monster it is. and is. Snyder’s later, much longer version is still not particularly good, but at least it seems to be the product of a single (erroneous) vision. Plus, the special effects look like they cost more than $15.
Where to stream (if you want): HBO Max.