Why Do You Need to Be Alone
The sadness we experience when we spend too much time alone has a name: we are alone. But what about the negative feelings that can arise from not spending enough time alone?
A team of psychologists led by Robert Coplan of Carleton University came up with a name for that too: Alone. As opposed to being lonely. We need to balance time spent alone with time in society, and the right balance is probably different for everyone. It can be a more useful framework for understanding our needs than trying to cram ourselves into the introvert / extrovert binary system.
So what can you do about your loneliness? The first step is to acknowledge the problem: you are alone if you need more time on your own than you can manage. Coplan and his colleagues’ primary tool for detecting loneliness was a simple questionnaire in which people asked if they agreed with statements such as “I would like to be alone more often.” With a little thought, you can probably figure out if you are truly alone.
If so, you may feel “irritable, depressed, or drained,” notes Psychology Today. These days, when we have so many mental health problems, it can be helpful to try to separate those caused by loneliness from those caused by anxiety, burnout, and myriad other stressors in our work and life. If this task is overwhelming in itself, consider that it may be time to find a therapist who can help you understand everything your brain is dealing with.
In the meantime, it may be helpful for you to ask yourself if you feel better when you spend more time alone, and then plan and protect that time alone. For example, you don’t have to agree to all social events or calls. You may decide that Friday nights are for accommodations.
And even if you may not be able to spend a lot of time alone due to your current circumstances, you can make sure that spending time alone is quality time with yourself. Think of the things that actually make you feel relaxed, happy, or refreshed – like reading a book or going for a walk instead of just scrolling on your phone – and do one of those things whenever you have a minute. for yourself.