How to Eat Magic Mushrooms Without Throwing Up
Eating psilocybin mushrooms may open your mind to the limitless wonders of the universe or make your Sunday afternoon extra colorful, but they are not very tasty. I’m not saying they taste the worst, but hallucinogenic mushrooms are dry and chewy, with a distinct earthy flavor that people describe as the taste of feet, mud, or shit.
I used to be a supporter of the popular “just eat ’em man, damn” school. The standard dose of mushrooms is only about 1 or 2 grams (give or take), so it only takes a little guts to chew them, choke, and drink your choice of strong drink. But there is a better way, a solution that requires almost no effort and is more worthy than “forcing yourself” and not overkill, like this recipe for “hallucinogenic mushroom fricando.”
The best way to eat magic mushrooms is to mix them into these little plastic bowls of pickled mushroom salad from your local supermarket’s deli section. It’s easy and inexpensive, and the combination of olive oil, vinegar, spices, and tasty mushrooms actually complements the nasty taste of your golden teachers or flying saucers, making them somewhere between “edible” and “kind of good actually.” etc., depending on your tastes.
A step by step guide on how to make hallucinogenic mushrooms delicious (or at least appetizing)
Stocks:
- A container of pickled mushrooms from the supermarket. If you’re not having a big party, you won’t need much. A half pint will suffice for most situations.
- Ramekins or small bowls
- Dried psilocybin mushrooms
Process:
- Fill a mold or small bowl with pickled mushrooms for each of your guests. Creating a custom drug-filled entertainment package for each psychonaut allows everyone to control their own doses, and it doesn’t contaminate the rest of the mushroom salad – you can’t accidentally trip over later.
- Crush the magic mushrooms and toss them inside. Make sure they are covered in juice and stir a little.
- Wait. You can wait 24 hours or so for the mushroom to truly rehydrate, or you can just wait a few minutes – long enough to turn on Stevie Wonder’s Inner Vision and smile at your friends with that distinctive “We’re all going to be tripping over mushrooms soon!” ยป expression.
- Eat it with a fork or spoon.
Why You Shouldn’t Cook with Magic Mushrooms
I don’t mean to judge anyone’s lifestyle, but I never understood the appeal of a full meal of psilocybin mushrooms. First, there’s the possibility that heating the mushrooms makes them less healthy – there’s some debate about whether this is actually true , but why take the risk? Even if cooking doesn’t affect the effectiveness of the mushrooms, cooking something like this ” Creamy Garlic Mushroom Paste ” is a bad idea. It requires the mushrooms to be powdered or finely chopped, which takes work, and that makes the already imprecise art of controlling how much you eat even more difficult. Someone is going to eat a larger than average portion, right?
More importantly, it is not recommended to eat cream-based pasta or anything heavy before mushroom hunting. You want a light pre-trip meal – maybe some fruits and vegetables, but that’s about it.
If you really can’t stand the taste of mushrooms, and even a vinegar and olive oil bath doesn’t help, you can grind dried mushrooms into a fine powder, buy a capsule machine , and make capsules to swallow. But it takes a lot of effort, so maybe you just need a hobby?
Warning: do not eat mushrooms!
Unless you live in certain cities, buying, selling, and eating certain types of mushrooms is probably illegal, and you must respect state decisions about what you are allowed to do in your own home for your own reasons.
But seriously, don’t eat mushrooms unless you know what you’re doing. A mushroom trip can be a serious thing and you don’t want it to go awry, so make sure you’re in a good mood, in a good physical location, and surrounded by good people. Start small and eat little, even if it tastes good now. You can always take more later, but once you’ve eaten them, you can’t take less.