Lies I Tell Myself at the Gym
Sometimes it’s important to be honest with yourself. Do you really want to pursue that fitness goal, or do you feel pressured? Do you really have time for this new exercise program, or will you give it up as soon as life gets busy? But sometimes honesty is overrated. I lie to myself all the time at the gym and maybe you should too.
To be clear, there is a time and place for lies. Honesty is good when it comes to long-term plans. But in the middle of training, your very reasonable, realistic, well-thought-out plans collide with your stupid little brain. And your stupid little brain might want to talk itself out of doing some work. So here are a few lies that can help you approach a hard workout without fear or fear.
It’s not much work
I like it when my squats are programmed for sets of three. Or better yet, singles. Just give me the maximum ! But ostensibly doing lighter weights for bulk is “good for me” even though it’s boring as hell.
So when my squats last week were supposed to be three sets of 10 reps, I said to myself, “That’s just five double reps.” Two repetitions, five times. I did two squats and counted “one”, then two more and counted “two” and so on until I reached five. You see, five is less than 10, so half the work. In any case, mentally.
Runners, I know you do the same. You run five miles and your watch says you just ran the second mile. The average person would say you are “almost halfway there”, but what do they know? In fact, two miles is more than halfway to three. And when you get to three, you will be at the corner where you turn left and follow the road to the lake. And by the time you get to the end of that road, you only have one mile to go, which is basically just a recharge. So you’re actually more than halfway there, right? Right. Exactly. Yes, that’s how numbers work.
I like it
I once had a coach ask the team how we were doing after a hard part of training, and in response they expected in chorus “SUPER BIG AND GETTING BETTER!”
It was stupid, but it worked. Just because you are suffering does not mean you have to admit that you are suffering. Because you’re good too. Feeling like you need to catch your breath and take a sip of water is normal and to be expected after a hard part of a workout. You’ll enjoy your water break and be ready for the next ordeal, and the next, and the next.
You can do it yourself, of course. Maybe you’re into weightlifting and your least favorite exercise will be next. Just pretend it’s your favorite. Find something in it that you like. Focus on it.
Or let’s say I run and get to the hill. The hills sure suck. I live in a hilly area so I can’t avoid them. But I can lie to myself. On every hill I say to myself, “That’s what I’m good at; it’s my time to shine.” After all, I have a lot of practice with hills! They suck for everyone, but I secretly enjoy them. (I secretly secretly hate them, but shhh.)
The rest of the training does not exist
Over the holidays last year, I did the infamous 20 rep squat program . You start with a weight that causes difficulty – something you could only do for 10 reps – and you just hold the barbell on your back, gasping for air and praying for the sweet release of death, until you somehow manage to complete 20. It sounds impossible, but then you do it. In the process, it strengthens your mind as much as it strengthens your legs.
I also ran the FTP test twice. This is a 20-minute race against yourself on a stationary bike, where your performance determines the training zones that you will use in the future. This is a test that is only accurate if you really do your best. It’s 20 minutes of hell.
In both of these sessions, there is an important thing that you need to know in order to master them: you must forget about all parts of the workout except the one you are in right now. The third minute is not the time to think about the twentieth minute.
At the third minute of the FTP test, the only thing you have to think about is getting to the fourth minute. You cannot immediately shift the mental stress of the next 17 minutes onto yourself. Every minute belongs to itself.
It’s the same with squats. You can’t ask yourself, “Can I do 17 more?” The only question worth asking is “Can I do another one?”
My friends will want to watch this video
If all else fails, turn to peer pressure. You are a human, a social animal. You know how to use social media to inspire and not disappoint yourself . Your account is followed by gym buddies you know in real life and people around the world who double tap your videos and you double tap them. Or maybe you send a video to your best friend who doesn’t lift weights but still supports you.
They need to see the video you post after that, right? By no means could they be completely indifferent to whether you finished your workout or what weight you worked up to. No, they are at the top of their game, ready to cheer you up as soon as they see any evidence that you have done what the hell you were supposed to do today. So do this workout, take this video and post it with some smart caption. They are waiting for it. Promise.