How to Pose for the Perfect Shot

Whether you’re a legendary vain plutocrat turning himself in to the authorities after being framed for several financial crimes , stealing the Mona Lisa from the Louvre , or being dragged to Rochester with a bag of weed , you should always try to look good. best in your picture.

The photos are meant to help the police identify you in case you commit a crime in the future, but they can also be a memory of the time you were arrested for some nonsense. They’re perfect for framing or printing on a T-shirt , and because they’re often in the public domain for anyone who asks, they can be linked to your online name forever, so you need to look your best.

Serious mugshot advice for normal people

Whether you’re a politician, an artist, or some monstrous hybrid of both, your shot is a public relations exercise. Many people will see this and it will have some impact on your career and your public image.

Ordinary people who get arrested have other concerns, such as not standing out in the future line-up and not doing anything that could damage your defense. So do not pull frauds when you are ordered. Don’t smile. Don’t grin. Don’t act weird. Try to look as modest and innocent as possible.

Worth preparing

If you happen to give up (rather than get out of bed at 5am), you can prepare yourself. Wear a shirt that won’t wash your face. Make sure your hair is in order. Shaving. Make yourself beautiful – you only get one chance to make a first impression. Check out how well-groomed disgraced ex-House Majority Leader Tom DeLay looks in the picture above! However, he was given three more years.

Even if you don’t have the luxury of turning yourself in to the authorities, being arrested for a crime requires a long wait, so do your best to fix your hair and clean your mouth – as long as you’re not handcuffed. .

Mugshots are all about expression

Mugshots are generally not the most flattering images. They are designed to be recognizable rather than pretty, so the angles are specific and unforgiving: usually one frame straight ahead and one on each side. The lighting is hard. No one is going to retouch your imperfections, adjust the contrast or desaturate the colors. The only thing you usually have to work with is the facial expression and maybe a little tilt of the head. But you can do a lot with a little. Below are some positions to think about while you hang out in a holding cell.

smirk

The coolest photos usually have a slight smirk on them. Take a look at Jimi Hendrix’s legendary song “Can You Believe This Shit?” expression for a sign example. The problem with the smirk is that while it looks cheeky and cheeky, cheeky is probably not the kind of vibe you’re looking for when you’re accused of a crime, unless you’re Hendrix, who has lived every day of his life in a cheeky and fun way.

Smile

Don’t smile in your picture. Even if it comes with free tacos. You may be trying to create an “I don’t care about the world” effect, but in context it looks sluggish and callous. Take the photo of Brittany Wilson above. She has a beautiful beaming smile, but she has just been arrested for stabbing her husband to death with a sword . I don’t know the circumstances (she herself reported it to the police and pleaded not guilty to the murder), but she looks like she just stabbed her husband to death with a sword. The British Daily Mail even took the opportunity to bombard her from across the ocean .

Glamor Shot

Reality television pioneer and cultural harbinger Paris Hilton knows how to pose . Even after being arrested for drug possession, she looks deadpan and chic in her 2006 snapshot . However, perfecting such a posture can take a lifetime of unimaginable luxury.

hard look

If you’re going to steal a camera from a booking office, you’d better be sincere. There is nothing more pathetic than trying to look cool and fail. For inspiration, check out Johnny Cash’s classic photo ” My life is a prison harder than you can imagine .” This was apparently taken as a joke by the guards before Cash played in Folsom Prison, but it illustrates the point perfectly.

Jane Fonda

Jane Fonda’s defiantly raised fist was made for an iconic photograph, but I doubt you can get away with it these days. If you try to give a peace sign, a middle finger, or a Vulcan “Live long and prosper” in 2023, I’m guessing the officers will tell you to cut it out and take another photo. Even if they don’t, you’re just asking to be picked from the photo queue.

“Good Trouble”

John Lewis was a civil rights icon and an American hero, but he was also a photographic hero. This photo was taken after Lewis was arrested for using a whites-only toilet while walking free. It delivers: “Everything you know will collapse if you ask.” He looks like he’s sorry for the asshole taking his picture. Amazing! That he published this later in his life, when he was a congressman, only adds to his legend.

Bowie

Don’t even try to take a picture as cool as David Bowie’s (taken when he was arrested in New York on charges of drug possession with Iggy Pop). This will never happen. Of course, no one will ever want to buy your photo at auction for $6,100 .