How You Can Really Help a Friend Who Has Been Fired
Our kind, well-intentioned responses to layoffs are usually something along the lines of “Please let me know how I can help,” but how many times have you said that to someone and didn’t get a response from them? When you’re going through a layoff, it can be hard to know what you need and even harder to ask for it. But there are plenty more things you can do to offer appropriate resources and support to a friend who’s been fired, even if you’re not an expert.
Proactively offer your professional network
Like it or not, communication and referrals are two of the most effective tools a job seeker can use. Since there are hundreds of applications for every job opening, the best way to get your friend’s attention is to talk to someone within the company; and even if you and your friend have the same group of friends, you probably still know some people they don’t.
Instead of waiting for your friend to ask for a specific referral, you can share your contact list with them in advance in several different ways:
- Easiest, but with some drawbacks: Encourage them to follow your LinkedIn connections. If your friend goes to your LinkedIn profile and looks at people you know, it might offer them a low-pressure way to explore what’s out there and only ask you for the most relevant connections (compared to what you’re trying to guess, Who are they). would like to talk). One limitation here: LinkedIn seems to place a limit on the number of profiles a free account can view, so depending on what profile your friend has, they may not be able to view everyone you know.
- Medium difficulty, with some considerations: Share the complete .csv file with all of your LinkedIn contacts. LinkedIn gives you the option to export your entire list of connections and show you everyone you’re connected to, where they work, and what their job title is. It will take a little time, but once you get it, the list will be exhaustive and you will be able to avoid that annoying profile limitation.
- The most difficult, with the best return (and my personal favorite): manually write a list of companies where you know someone useful. This will require you to either rack your brains or comb through each of your LinkedIn connections (or both), but it will allow you to remove any random people that you happened to hang out with years ago that you don’t really talking. more. I could write to my senior English teacher and ask to be connected, but my neighbor who I see every day is probably more likely to answer and really want to help. This requires a bit more work up front, but once it’s done, you know that your final list will be truly representative of the people you can connect with.
Write a recommendation for their LinkedIn profile or personal website
Writing a recommendation for someone does two things: increases your online friend’s credibility and makes them feel really good about themselves. I often like to write a recommendation and send it as a surprise (because I love surprises), but you can also ask your friend ahead of time what skills or qualities they want you to enhance. For example, if your friend already has a few recommendations about how organized they are, they might ask you to write a recommendation about something else to complement their skillset. Or they might just not care and they’ll just be thrilled that you’re willing to write a few sentences about why they’re great. Either way, at the end of the day, you’re just trying to help your friend look their best online, so if your recommendation is helpful and up-to-date, it will go a long way.
Offer some emotional support
Getting fired can be emotional, so let your friend’s feelings guide and be there for them throughout the journey. Whether they need an upbeat pep talk or to talk about their old boss, just being around to support them can make sense.
We all know that feeling when we just want to talk it out and get advice or feedback we didn’t want. If you’re not sure what your friend wants to hear after they leave, ask them directly. (I often like to ask my friends directly if they need advice, or just complain for a little while; if they need advice, I’ll give it, and if they just want to complain, I’ll save my advice for another time.) One thing about which I often remind people is that layoffs are rarely about real people and usually about jobs or “places” on the team. Getting fired has nothing to do with someone’s actual cost.
Follow your feed and post relevant job postings (when they’re ready).
LinkedIn is the obvious source for finding job listings, but don’t discount what you see on Instagram or Twitter or what you hear from word of mouth. There are so many random places on the internet where job offers can pop up , and chances are you’ll come across jobs that your friend doesn’t have. The key word here is appropriate – make sure you understand what kind of work your friend is interested in in the future, and don’t send him a bunch of random jobs . When I see a job that might match, I often text or email it as soon as I see it, but you and your friend can also discuss how they want to receive potential jobs and if they even want them. Firstly.
But if your friend is overwhelmed or still upset, this is probably not the time to send job listings. The prospect of finding a new job is part of what makes layoffs stressful, so there’s no need to immediately start sending out job descriptions if your friend isn’t ready yet. There will be time to review job postings after they feel more like themselves. In this situation, stop at the previous step (by offering some emotional support).
Schedule regular check-in to stay connected
As with most things, there is usually a big outpouring of support in the beginning, and then over time, the offers begin to dry up. To offer more ongoing support, consider scheduling monthly or bi-weekly “coffee talk” style meetings to keep in touch. It shouldn’t be formal (and frankly, it probably shouldn’t be), but rather serves the purpose of keeping in touch and making sure you understand how your friend’s needs change over time. Initially, they may need connections, but later they may want to summarize interviews, discuss next steps, or need help making a career change decision.
If you are also looking for a job, or know a few other people who are looking for a job, consider arranging regular checks for support and accountability. Talking to other people who are going through the same job search can be energizing (and comforting). Again, this should not be a formality, just a time to be together and support each other.