Why Is Everyone Arguing About Tame, the New Dating App
You may have noticed the chatter about a new app called Tame . While dating apps keep popping up like weeds and flooding our social channels with ads, it’s actually causing a buzz…but not all is positive.
How is Tame different from other dating apps?
Tame advertises itself as “an online dating app that promotes healthy human interaction.” The keys to this, according to the app, are “pace, accountability, simplified conversation, and security.” It all sounds nice, right? I’m not alone so I don’t use dating apps, but my friends describe the process as hell : swiping, small talk , first date, fanting… “Pace, accountability, simplistic conversation and security” is probably welcome. relief from it.
But the way Tame aims to achieve those goals is what makes it new: you only get one match at a time. There’s no endless swipe, no chat with multiple potential dates. Moreover, if you want to disconnect from someone, you must explain why before you are allowed to.
It has been marketed online as ” an incel app that lets women explain themselves” and even the name itself is suspicious for being ” creepy ” and making people think that it ” means a verb like what do with the animal .” People are outraged by the comments on the app’s Instagram account, tweets about the app and – for better or worse – do half of its advertising for it.
Tame makes you explain why you are second to none
Anyone who has been online in the last few years knows the standard complaints about dating apps, most of which come from women who say that men are too pushy, bordering on harassment. Unwanted nudity, pushy or creepy messages, or frightening personal interactions are all reasons why someone might not match another person and then start chatting with their other matches.
The criticism here is that Tame can force women to explain why they are uncomfortable to someone they may perceive as hostile or intimidating. Also, the great thing about other apps is that you have so many options and can chat with people until you find someone you vibrate with. It really slows it down. Even in real life, you shouldn’t date just one person at a time.
Tame says it’s working to address the “blatant gender imbalance” that appears on most dating apps by “maintaining a fair balance.” Sometimes there are waiting lists for people who sign up for direct matches and dating.
“The policy is designed to directly and exclusively address the worst heterosexual men on the planet, and they promise gender equality,” one Twitter user chuckled .
What does Tame say?
The creators of the app responded to the backlash by pointing out that when a person wants to end a chat, they have the option to choose a reason such as “no spark” or “prefer not to talk” instead of having to explain in detail why it’s immersive. If you select “negative behavior” as the reason for the disconnection, the app promises to “thoroughly examine” the report.
So while it’s definitely unorthodox, the fear of being forced to reveal the details of your disinterest is at least a little exaggerated. If you hate swiping and meeting a bunch of new people, something slower paced like this might be for you. However, like other dedicated dating apps, there is identity verification and once you’ve been given access, you have to pay for a subscription. (The app says your subscription will renew for free if you pay but don’t get a match during billing.)
If that doesn’t sound like your speed, here’s a rundown of 13 other apps you can try for connection, dating, or whatever else you’re into.