Teach Your Kids to Respond to TikTok “challenges”
Every few months, news of another dangerous “test” appears on TikTok that terrifies parents everywhere. From Skull Destroyers to Benadryl Trials , kids are always finding dangerous new ways to force each other to hurt themselves or even kill themselves. The latter recirculation is called the ” blackout test, ” in which a person deliberately tries to strangle themselves or someone else in order to get high. And while we must absolutely warn our children about this particular problem, she also emphasizes that we must teach them to be critical of all these problems and the risks they may face.
These problems are not new – the Blackout Challenge itself has been around for decades. But what makes them especially dangerous right now is that instead of trying to impress a few peers at a party, “performing” them on social media means a wider audience and potentially more bounces in terms of “likes” and attention. Add to that a pandemic, in which children felt more isolated and perhaps more anxious and depressed than usual, and they might be more tempted to try one thing.
That is why we need to add this topic to our current list of big and important conversations that we need to have with our children as they get older.
Teach them the basics
If your kids are using any social media platform, along with teaching them the ins and outs of digital security, we also need to educate them about these issues and how to avoid them. You can start by talking about some of the various issues you’ve heard about, including the ones I mentioned above and the tragic injuries and deaths that have resulted. Some children will recognize and avoid risky and ridiculous behaviors in them, while others will be attracted to them because they are risky and ridiculous.
Talk to them about how to be critical of the outcome of any of these “problems.” If the goal is to get “high” or experience some kind of altered mental state, this is dangerous and can have irreversible consequences; and since some of these problems are left to unwitting participants, such as the Skull-Breaker Challenge, they should be wary of agreeing to join someone’s video if they are not entirely sure what is going on.
Because they are often referred to as “problems,” children can easily spot them – the very word can signal that this is a dangerous activity. But we also need to talk about how many physical “challenges” to avoid. Remind them that whatever social influence they are earning in the moment is not worth it if it hurts someone as a result – or worse.
Help them develop answers
Children crave peer recognition, and this pressure to like and belong to them can be a powerful motivator to get them to do things they wouldn’t normally do. It is helpful to think through how they react in advance so that they are ready with a quick retort when they start feeling pressured to do something they know is a bad idea.
Personally, I love the reaction my son’s martial arts teacher taught the kids in his class. When someone wants you to do something that you think is stupid, they say, you call it this: “ Dude, I don’t; it’s stupid . ” It’s incredibly simple, and also effective and relieves the pressure on the idiot suggesting idiotic things. They can also try something less aggressive, like, ” No, no, thanks, I don’t like this.”
It’s also a good idea to give your kids a secret code that they can use with you to help them get out of a difficult situation personally. They send you a predefined code message (“X” is simple enough, or a word you all agree with), and after a few minutes you call them and say that something happened at home, and you need to come and fix away – and you will explain when you get there. This allows your teen or teen to leave quickly without explaining why.
You should also encourage children to report on social media that they are worried or unsafe. Give them the opportunity to participate in solving the problem of the safety of other children (who are easier to persuade).