How to Curse Your Enemies

So, you want to put a curse on your enemies? I’m not going to judge – I’m sure they deserve it. But if you want to curse, jinx, madden, curse, or otherwise unleash powerful gris gris on your enemies, you better do it right. So follow our serious guide to practical cursing using two of the most famous cursing methods in history.

History of the Curse

Details are lost to history, but the first curse was probably cast by the second person to ever live. Maybe it was something like: “Og wants a stone to fall on you.”

The speaking of solemn words or the performance of rituals designed to cause supernatural harm or punishment to others occurs in so many different cultures and in so many different forms that I cannot describe them all. So instead of paralyzing you with options, I’m going to provide step-by-step instructions on how to curse people in the controlled, ritualistic style of the ancient Greeks (if you like the project) and in the looser, performative swearing style of the 19th century Irish, my choice of GOAT swearers. humanity.

A word of caution before you begin

A real, honest curse is more than screaming “ff you”. It is an obligation to cause serious harm to another person by supernatural means, and although there are no supernatural means, curses can actually work. In a manner.

Some followers of Wicca and other magical schools argue that you should not use magic to harm others so as not to harm yourself even more, but this is stupid. However, curses can be effective due to something like the nocebo effect in medicine: if someone legitimately believes they have been cursed, they are essentially cursing themselves psychologically, living as if they were cursed. In extreme cases, the subject of the curse may even experience ” voodoo death “, a psychosomatic death caused by an overwhelming emotional response. This is powerful magic that is not actually magic.

Silently cursing someone can also be effective, at least for you, as you can attribute any random negative event that befalls your enemy to your curse, so when he crashes his car, you can smugly say, “Gotcha !” to myself. Empowerment!

How to Curse Your Enemies Like an Ancient Greek

We like to think of ancient Greece as the birthplace of logic, but magical practices were still fairly common back then, and the Greeks were farsighted enough to practice incantation rituals using permanent materials, so we know a lot about how they did it. Here’s how to cast your own Greek curse.

What will you need

• Lead sheets that can be folded into a box
• Label tool
• Colossi (i.e. a stuffed animal or doll representing your enemy)
• Nails or pins
• open grave

Greek curse step by step instructions

• First, you need to buy thin lead sheets. They are pretty inexpensive on Amazon .
• Use Amazon’s delivery timeout to come up with a really good curse on your enemy. Here is an example found on an ancient curse tablet buried in a grave in Greece to give you an idea:

“Dump your hatred on Phanagora and Demetrius, and on their tavern, and on their property, and on their property. I will bind my enemy Demetrius and Phanagora in blood and ashes with all the dead … I will bind you in such a bond, Demetrius, as tightly as possible, and I will strike the kinot on [your] tongue.”

“Kinotos” is the smallest possible roll of the die in ancient Greek gambling. If you’re playing D&D, this basically means “Always roll a 1.”

• Since your curse will be sent to the underworld, make sure you invoke the power of the right gods. If you’re a traditionalist, you might want to call on ancient Greek chthonic gods like Hades, Persephone, Demeter, and Hekate, although the Greeks often invoked gods from other cultures, so feel free to get creative and invoke Hel, the Norse god. of death; Anubis, Egyptian god of the underworld; Mictlantecuhtli, Aztec god of death; or just invent your own gods. It doesn’t matter, because they are fictional anyway.
• Carve the words of rebuke on the lead. The Greeks wrote their curses in different languages, so feel free to use whichever language you feel most comfortable with.
• Now it’s time to stab your colossi with pins. There are no specific instructions on where or how to pierce your doll, although one colossus discovered at Antinopolis was pierced with 13 pins: one on the top of the head, one in the mouth, one in each eye, ear, arm and leg, plus pins in the sun plexus, vagina and anus. So just stick a lot of pins in them. This is the fun part!
• Wrap inscribed lead around your colossus and bury it. But you can’t just bury it somewhere: you need a place that serves as a conduit to the underworld, so you need to find a grave or a well. The grave is probably your best bet because it’s the most witchy and scary option (besides who has a well?). Conveniently, you can use literally any grave – they don’t have to be related to you or the cursed person. So roam your local graveyard and try to look inconspicuous at random funerals, then toss your lead-wrapped colossi into a stranger’s open grave. Light!
• Wait for the results.

How to Curse Your Enemies Like a 19th Century Irishman

If tossing a doll in a lead box into an open grave seems like too much work or is likely to result in arrest, don’t despair. You can still unleash supernatural doom on anyone who opposes you, following the Irish tradition.

From the playful “Oh, to hell with you!” stylish cursing thrown at friends at serious public appeals that have been remembered for generations, cursing has been part of Irish culture almost forever, and even the official disapproval of the Catholic Church, which began in 1643, did not stamp out the practice. Irish priests did not hesitate to shout curses from the pulpit.

Irish Curse Step by Step Instructions

An Irish swear word has a lot less specificity and ritual than a Greek one, but that doesn’t mean you don’t need to prepare. The Irish swear word is performative, so you should be prepared to put on a show . Here is a step by step guide on how to swear like an Irishman in the 1800s.

• Write and memorize a poetic diatribe against your enemy. Dig into it for real – the idea is to come up with a set of words so harsh and terrifying that your enemy won’t be able to respond with anything other than an open-mouthed look (like battle rap). Be sure to call on God, the Saints, Jesus, and Mary. At the time in Ireland, it was believed that curses were only effective against those who truly deserved them – they were more about justice than magical power – so God should help you as long as your enemy really deserves it. Below are a few examples of 19th century Irish swear words to give you some ideas. The first was found in 1902 in The Traces of Eder Beliefs in Ireland ; the second is an extract from a letter sent to an Irish landowner in County Limerick in 1886.

May you never prosper. The first drop of water to quench your thirst – let it boil in your intestines. Let the flesh rot from your bones and decay before your eyes. May your limbs wither, and the stench of your rotten corpse be too terrible for hungry dogs. May you disappear into nothingness like snow in summer. May you be cursed in the eyes of God and hated by your neighbors. May you die without a priest. May the curse of the Almighty fall on your children. This, I pray.

May you dry up in hellish fire soon and suddenly, may the flesh rot from your bones and fall putrid before your eyes, and may the consolation of eternal fire become your consolation in your last illness and the hearth of hell be your pillow forever.

• Once you’ve memorized your snarky swear words, it’s show time, baby. Unlike secret curses in some cultures, Irish curses are meant to be heard , preferably from the cursed person, but just an audience of random people is enough – word of mouth will reach the right person if you do it right.
• Choose a public place, like a mall. Reports of commemorative curses include the caller falling to his knees in the crowded marketplace before delivering his scathing rebuke, pounding the ground with his fists or looking up at the sky, and pleading with God and all the saints. You can try to stand on the jagged rocks by the sea and shout your curses at the raging waves below. Growl and shout – do everything to attract attention to yourself.
• Consider your hair. Curse stories of Irish women of the period usually included details of long hair blowing in the wind. Unlike the modest headscarves they usually wore, angry Irish women literally let their hair down, uttering a good curse, suggesting savagery and primal fury. This is a powerful image and good theatre.
• When you finish your curse, look at your enemy. They will almost certainly not have a ready answer, even if they had the courage to listen to you. This is another way curses work, and perhaps the most powerful: they degrade the subject in the eyes of society. Even if the witness has no idea what is behind your curse, they will probably decide that the cursed person was a pretty bad person to deserve recriminations at this level. Ideally, your enemy will shun and leave the city out of sheer embarrassment. Damn success!

(Please don’t scold me in our comment section.)