How to Stop Worrying About Something
Everyone has their proverbial buttons that, when pushed, will actually activate them: so-called “pressure points” that elicit particularly strong reactions. People close to us tend to know about these buttons, but often strangers or other people who don’t know us either push them unknowingly.
Regardless of who or what irritates us, if we take something personally – even if it was not intended as an insult to our character or behavior – the chances are that anger and irritation can not only upset us at the moment.
But when we let something simmer, it can take up a lot of our time and emotional energy, affecting our mood and potentially increasing our stress levels. Here are some ways to stop languishing and get on with your day (and life).
How to stop simmering
We may not be able to control someone’s behavior, but we can mitigate the consequences by ensuring that even if something upsets us in the moment, we don’t waste our time and energy simmering over it. Here are some ways to do it:
- Take a minute to identify the problem : Once you realize you’re starting to boil over something, pause for a moment to identify what’s irritating you and why.
- Create a backstory : If the perpetrator is a stranger, come up with a backstory to explain their behavior. Maybe this person cut you off on the highway because he was in a hurry to the hospital, etc.
- Think of the event in third person . Creating a psychological distance between yourself and the incident can help you gain clarity and perspective.
Finally, keep in mind that the person who offended you is probably not thinking about the incident. In fact, they may not even realize they did something to upset you. It can make everything a little less personal and help stop the vicious circle.