How to Know If Your Boss Is Lying (and What to Do About It)
A toxic boss can make your job unbearable and harm your mental health. Working for someone who has a hard time being honest with you or who outright lies about big and small work-related issues can leave you either constantly on your toes or completely surprised when things go wrong, like the unexpected. mass layoffs .
There is no real science in reading body language or interpreting verbal cues that show someone is lying. But there are workplace behaviors and management tactics that may indicate that your boss is withholding information or trying to hide the truth, and you may need to be curious and cautious about what goes on behind the scenes.
Here are some signs that something is wrong with your boss:
- They use evasive or vague language. If your boss doesn’t take responsibility for things by using a regal “we” instead of “I” or refuses to specify deadlines and actions, they may be ducking the truth. For example, if you ask about the promotion process and they reply, “We’ll look into it.” Similarly, words and phrases such as “probably” or “as far as I know” can indicate avoidance.
- They never communicate in writing. Difficult conversations are often fine if you have them face-to-face, but if your boss refuses to make any commitments or claims via email, Slack, or any other written communication, especially when asked, he may be trying to avoid responsibility. for your answers.
- They give conflicting information. Bosses who say one thing to you and another to your colleague, or give conflicting information on different teams, may be intentionally misleading or simply fail to properly confuse the situation.
- They give irrelevant feedback. Part of your boss’s job is to provide feedback to support your growth. Not all managers are good at this skill, and in most cases this does not mean that they are lying. But if your boss refuses to be specific or gives an opinion that seems to apply to someone else, he may be avoiding a tough conversation.
- They ask you not to share things with colleagues. You probably need to keep difficult news at work or confidential information a secret in some cases, but if your boss constantly asks you to keep secrets from colleagues, they may be trying to hide something.
- They avoid meetings with teams. Bosses who refuse to meet with large groups, even when asked or when necessary, and instead hold many individual meetings, may be trying to avoid difficult conversations and clashes, where strength lies in numbers.
How to deal with lying in the workplace
Keep in mind that none of the above is a 100% guarantee of anything. Perhaps your boss is just a bad manager or communicator, or that his actions are only about him and not about you. Or maybe this behavior is just their norm.
If it is obvious that your boss is lying to you and the consequences could be criminal in nature, you should get out as soon as possible and possibly consult a lawyer. Otherwise, there are both reactive and proactive approaches to combat deception. Writing for the Harvard Business Review , author and consultant Pamela Meyer suggests starting with a cost/benefit analysis. Is opposing lying to your boss, their boss, or HR worth the potential consequences?
If you want to answer, first think about your boss’ motives for lying, and then approach him with curiosity, not accusation. Perhaps their intentions were good even if their tactics weren’t, and you can gain clarity by giving them the benefit of the doubt.
To prevent cheating from the start, Meyer recommends building strong workplace relationships that include attention to detail and follow-up. If you notice deception in communication or behavior, document it.