When to Get Rid of All Those Souvenirs From Your Last Relationship
Whether it’s greeting cards, jewelry, or photos on your phone, many people hold onto memories of past relationships, but when is it okay to keep holding on to those things, and when is it time to let them go? Here’s what you should remember about keeping memories of past relationships, especially when a new partner has entered your life.
What souvenirs do we keep most often?
The results of a recent Cinch Home Services survey of more than 1,000 US residents , while intended to provide insight into people’s opinions of the disorder, actually revealed some interesting facts about relationships – one of which is that 57% of people said, that they still have an item from a past relationship.
Interestingly, of the 57% of respondents who coped with keeping old relationship items, men were much more likely to keep physical reminders of a former relationship. Overall, 61.6% of men said they keep these items, while 51.1% of women said they keep them. Most romantic hoarders are also in a relationship or married, but 21.2% said their current partner doesn’t know they still have those things. Most often they keep photos (42.6%), gifts (40.6%) and jewelry (34.4%).
Think about why you need these items
The mere presence of things, especially sentimental, hidden and forgotten things in the back of the closet, is not as important as the main reason why this happens, especially when you start a new relationship.
“I think it’s more important to focus on current feelings and relationships with your ex,” said Jennifer All , a Brooklyn-based licensed marriage and family therapist. “It seems that this person is still hesitant or longing for this person as a romantic partner? That is the question”.
She said it might be okay to hold on to things because “you can get to a place where you can look back fondly on a year-long relationship, even if you don’t have the desire to be in that relationship currently.” However, it is also true that your new partner may feel threatened by the possession of objects indicating your feelings, so you need to balance the fondness you have for those memories with the comfort and security you want yours to have. new partner felt.
What can (and can’t) be left behind?
There are some things you should never keep (you know , it sucks to hide nudity from an ex); and overly sentimental items, such as personal letters, postcards, or photo books from your travels together, are likely to harm a new partner. But things of a more practical variety can probably remain. Of those who told Cinch researchers they had old relationship items, 18.4% held onto crockery or kitchen utensils, 23.5% pointed to furniture, and 25.4% still had electronics.
I’m a practical giver myself, and I doubt my exes consider their coffee makers or deep fryers “remembered gifts” or “souvenirs” that make them still yearn for me. I still have a TV, a fan, and a table left over from a previous relationship, and these are the basic items of everyday life that don’t remind me of him at all (and I’m damn sure I’m not going to leave a perfectly good lover just to go throw money at another) . However, soft toys, concert tickets and once sentimental gifts are likely to disappear.
In the end, while you’re not pining for your ex, hold on to souvenirs however you see fit – as long as you can be open and honest with your new partner and they won’t mind.