Caviar Belongs to Potato Chips
Caviar has been trending lately thanks to a recent NYT article about “caviar cones” or “tasting caviar on the back of your hand,” a weird rich man trick I wrote about over a year ago. (I didn’t call them “bumps” though, because I’m not a wimp who’s never been offered real drugs.)
Hand-eating caviar is a great way to taste caviar while deciding what to pair it with. It relieves chills, allowing you to feel the nuance of fish caviar. It also makes no sense in my case, since I almost always end up shoveling caviar into my mouth with potato chips (and some fermented milk products). Unlike pancakes, which must either be made or purchased from a specialty store, potato chips are available everywhere and are ready to eat the moment you open the package.
Oddly enough, I’m only now dedicating an entire blog to this snack, mainly because I thought it was an obvious idea that everyone already knew about. But one night I brought it to a friend’s house and changed her life (her words, not mine). She woke up and ate caviar and potato chips for several days, which sounds expensive, but it really isn’t. (You can get a decent can of fish caviar for $10—enough for a whole bag of chips.) Caviar and sour cream are now “a thing that literally lasts forever” in her fridge. “What pisses me off is how much fun you can get from a $10 can of fish caviar,” she told me in a recent text conversation. “Cheap Thrills”.
You can, of course, turn this trio into an expensive snack if you like: choose thick cauldron-boiled potato chips; juicy cream fresh; and only the best caviar. Or you can get a Lay’s bag, a Daisy tub, and the aforementioned can for $10. I prefer to keep it cheap, as oversized chips and rich sour milk will overpower the more subtle flavors of the caviar if you’re not careful. Inexpensive alternatives provide the perfect bite: salty, crunchy, creamy, and a bit fishy. This is a good way to ease your enjoyment of caviar.
If you want to get whimsical, you can substitute potato chips for Bugles and make tiny caviar cones like the ones you see in the very blurry photo above this offer. (If you decide to go the bugle route, make sure you buy cheap fish roe. Crane is incredibly salty and you wouldn’t want to hide an expensive nuance with salt.)
Can you get other regular caviar accessories? Of course. You can make a large plate of Russian nachos and top with a sifted hard-boiled egg, scallions, and pickled beetroot, but that detracts from the appetizer’s character. Caviar on chips with sour cream – everyday decadence; with each additional ingredient, it becomes a little less “everyday”.