Get Rid of the “grind Mentality” and Stop Saving Every Damn Penny

If you’ve ever come across the internet subculture of motivational entrepreneurs, you know they’ll tell you to work hard when you’re young in order to save as much money as possible so that one day you can be 1) very rich and 2) very happy. Tik Tok star Gary Vaynerchuk brags that in his twenties, he didn’t go on vacation or shop for fashion. And real estate investor and writer Grant Cardone advises his followers to “don’t waste time and money on things, toys, holidays or moments” so you can spend all available resources on self-improvement in the ministry of becoming a millionaire.

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Should you embrace the “grind mentality”?

This mindset has become colloquially known as the “grind mentality,” and some financial experts warn of its shortcomings. This is because there are costs associated with forgoing spending money in favor of increasing your savings. Angela Travillian of Investopedia warns that saving too much can actually hurt your quality of life in your work years and cause undue financial stress. CNBC’s Anna Hecht points out that because people today are working longer hours than they used to, it’s not always realistic to neglect your current needs. Basically, you’re doing yourself a disservice if you build your life around trying to save every penny.

An obsessive mentality can also lead to what Fortune has called “extreme frugality ,” where you treat spending like something bad, no matter how much money you have. He warns that people who tend to be extremely thrifty risk missing out on investing in tools that could make some aspects of their lives easier, as well as gaining access to things and experiences you care about. So how do you unlearn being overly thrifty?

Find out your “survival number”

Sounds scary, but it’s not. Your Survival Number is the amount of money you need to survive each month if you only cover your minimum needs. Calculating your survival number gives you a clear picture of your financial situation, allowing you to see exactly what you have left to invest, save or spend on yourself. Julli-Alma Taveras of Time magazine created this downloadable spreadsheet to help you find your survival number. This should help reduce the anxiety you feel if you’re worried about not having enough.

Treat yourself, but with financial responsibility

One former Lifehacker writer put it best when she wrote , “If the ultimate goal is to get rich, or at least achieve financial independence, giving up a cup of coffee on the way to work won’t get you there anyway.” She’s right, of course, but if it’s hard for you to splurge on yourself, find ways to make the most of your “fun money” priorities.

Are you a cinema goer? Instead of spending on a visit, consider one of the monthly movie theater plans. Do you enjoy dining out from time to time? Get the most bang for your buck by playing deals apps. Want to travel cheap? Know when to buy the cheapest flights and how to make the most of your savings .

Seek professional help if needed

The Center for Psychology and Emotional Regulation identifies extreme frugality as a potential symptom of obsessive-compulsive personality disorder. Dr. Robert Hudak of the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center recommends that you seek professional help if your “thrift is negatively impacting relationships or your quality of life because you can’t spend time or money on entertainment or recreation.” Dr. Fugen Neziroglu of the Bio-Behavioral Institute in New York told Everyday Health that OCPD treatment is possible, but it could take a year or more to get it under control.

Tools like Choice of Therapy are a great way to connect with a mental health professional who specializes in treating OCPD.

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