You Have to Make a Waffle Sandwich
Non-crusty foods end up in the freezer of almost every major grocery store before I hit puberty, but I didn’t have one until yesterday. Although I hated bread crusts as a kid, I also had an aversion to jelly, jam and any other food that moved, but the real stumbling block was my mom’s aversion to buying white bread. (If you’re dealing with a picky eater, take heart: they’ll probably grow out of it, and they might grow to be me.)
I now had two (2) Uncrustables, one of which was a waffle one, and I would be lying if I said I didn’t like the experience. A sandwich without waffles tastes like any other PB&J made on soft, firm white bread. It’s not bad, but overall unremarkable and certainly doesn’t taste better than what you would cook yourself. If you don’t have children who constantly demand to be fed, you might think that you don’t need this particular convenience food, but you would be wrong. Indestructible foods can be quite tasty treats – they just need some waffles.
I can’t believe this great idea. In fact, I almost forgot about the Uncrustables until the shiny ladies at The Hold Up posted a photo of the waffle sandwich on their Instagram. (And that’s not all Sam and Molly brought up the conversation about Uncrustables – an entire episode of their podcast is about sandwich, and there is a lot more talk about patent law than you might expect.)
But even if Waffle Uncrustable were their “only” contribution to sandwich discourse, that would be enough for me. Freshly defrosted, Uncrustable is slightly elastic and completely devoid of contrast and texture. On the other hand, waffle is warm, toasted and inviting. Outside, crispy crust and soft filling; If not for its characteristic shape, you would never have known that this sandwich was taken out of the freezer just a few minutes before.
Making Uncrustable waffles is easy. Set the waffle maker over medium heat and while it is heating, remove the Uncrustable from the packaging and lightly oil both sides. (I think I used 1/8 teaspoon of room temperature oil for the whole thing.) Place the sandwich between the plates and press down very gently to avoid damaging the jelly inside. Cook for about a minute, until Uncrustable is golden brown. Serve immediately with a glass of cold milk.