How to Talk to Children and Teenagers About the Crisis in Ukraine
As the adults of the world watch as Russia invades Ukraine, unleashing what many fear is the biggest war in Europe since 1945 and potentially affecting world prices for fuel, food and metals (among other obvious consequences of the war), our children can absorb not only our words, but also our tension. Whether it’s teenagers reading the news themselves or young kids catching snippets of scary words like “bombing” and “war”, chances are most of our kids know something scary is going on.
As hypnotherapist, psychotherapist and mentor Tanya Taylor told Metro.co.uk , kids are like sponges that soak up everything around them: “Whether it’s the news, someone is talking to a cashier at a store, parents are chatting in the playground, or the latest TikTok. videos, a lot of what they hear, especially at school, is out of your control. And sometimes external factors (like Kevin on the playground telling everyone that World War 3 is starting and we’re all going to die) can trigger the fear response more.”
So whether or not we consider them old enough to understand what’s going on in Ukraine, they can come to us with questions. If they do (or if they are old enough to actively talk to them), here are some things to keep in mind.
First, evaluate your emotions
Especially if your kids are young (say, aged 7-8 or younger), you might be surprised when you pick them up from school and they will spontaneously ask you what “war” means and if people will die. Every parent is caught off guard by sharp questions long before we’re ready for them, but when we’re ready, we can catch our breath before offering any detailed answer, bringing the question back to them.
“Well, can you tell me what you know about the war?” would be a good place to start in this example. It’s important to get some context for their question so you know what they’ve heard and how much information they might need or be able to understand. (There’s always a chance they’re asking about something completely unrelated, like a video game, so make it clear they’re really asking about Russia and Ukraine.)
If you find that you need to gather your thoughts before answering, you can acknowledge their question and promise to answer it soon. Something like, “That’s a very good question, and I’m so glad you asked me. I want to make sure I give you a good answer, so let me think about it a bit and we can talk more about it over dinner tonight. Does that sound okay?”
How to talk to young children about Russia and Ukraine
When you sit down to talk, remember that young children only take in as much information as they can take in. So, give them the basic information: some soldiers are sent to another country where they are not supposed to be (this is called an “invasion”), and many people around the world are upset about this. This is all happening very far away, and here we are safe.
Then let them lead. This can be anything they need or want, or they can ask additional questions, such as what the country is called, how far away it is, or why they are invading. Build each question with simple, clear explanations. Always end the conversation by asking if they have any more questions so you can be sure they don’t have any lingering issues or concerns that they may not have voiced yet.
How to talk to teenagers about Russia and Ukraine
Older kids aged 9 to 12 will be more receptive to adult conversations – their friends and classmates can talk about what’s going on and they can get information on their own through social media. As with younger children, it’s a good idea to start with what they already know and build on that, especially if “what they know” is most likely from an untrusted source like TikTok. (This is also a good time to continue the previous conversations about disinformation and the importance of looking for reputable sources, which you probably already had.)
Once you’ve covered the basics, it may be helpful for them to look at a map to compare where Russia and Ukraine are located with where they live to further illustrate how far it is from home and that they’re safe. Answer any other questions they have and then maintain an open dialogue with your teens in the weeks and months ahead. Check from time to time for any additional questions and help them find age-appropriate and up-to-date information about the conflict if they wish (teacher may have suggestions on this).
How to talk to teenagers about Russia and Ukraine
Teenagers almost certainly already know something about what is happening in Ukraine. Jessica Byren Coverly, licensed psychologist and owner of Western Connecticut Behavioral Health , told Yahoo! that it is especially important to be proactive in conversations with teenagers, who can get most of their information from social media: “The negative impact of information from an unreliable and biased source is that children then form opinions and ideals based on disinformation,” Byren Coverly. said. “A person can learn one fact and form a belief, but to change that belief, you may need over 100 new facts to make that significant change.”
She notes that teenagers are also on the cusp of being able to vote on their own, so parents should help them find accurate information from reputable sources so they can learn about difficult political issues. Then invite them to ask more questions and explore together any answers if you don’t already know them – looking for exact answers together when you’re not sure is good practice for them at this age.
After all, when it comes to this kind of conversation with kids of all ages, “kids rely on adults to help them make sense of world events and feel safe when events are scary,” says Andrea Barbalich, editor-in-chief of The New York Times magazine. . Week for juniors in the USA , reported New Jersey Family .
So, above all, remember to be calm and honest .