Can Bounce Relationships Ever Work?
After a breakup, there are several things you can do to get through the emotional turmoil, sometimes in combination. You can mope and spend a few days in bed. You can make a forced glow and head to the gym. You can surround yourself with friends and get distracted. Or you can jump head first into a new relationship.
The latter may not always work so well. If your relationship is based on your interest in overcoming the old — not necessarily your interest in developing the new — things can get a little boring. But can it really work? Of course, sometimes.
What is a rebound relationship?
To rebound, according to the dictionary , means “to jump back or as if colliding or striking with another body”. Then in a romantic context, think of this encounter or encounter as your past relationship and its ending. When you “bounce” off of this, you move into a new relationship as quickly as you can.
This is a common occurrence, so if you find yourself feeling out of sorts after a breakup and frantically reinstalling your old dating app list, take heart. There are films about this phenomenon, many threads on Reddit, and great songs . Note, however, that these examples are not entirely positive. Ariana Grande’s rebound anthem, for example, is aptly named: ” Bad idea .”
Are reciprocal relationships a bad idea?
Let’s look at the 2019 Grande fireworks for a second. She sings, “I’ve got a bad idea / How about we get some rest? / I have a bad idea / Forget about it, yes, forget about it, yes / Forget about me / I have a bad idea / Yes, I’ll call you here to numb the pain / I have a bad idea / Forget about it, yes, forget it about him, yeah / Forget about me.”
This is a case study of why rebound relationships are less than a stellar move. Grande is stating she’s interested in bringing in someone else to help her “forget” about her previous relationships – and even herself – and “blunt the pain.” Elsewhere in the song, she mentions that she wants her new boyfriend to “rescue” her, while bluntly admitting that “it’s not real”. To be clear, no one is responsible for “saving” you, and getting into a relationship that you know is “not real” is a disservice to your new partner.
You may find it convenient to dive into a new fling and enjoy all the fun things that come with those early days of the honeymoon phase without taking the time to process negative emotions about your past partnership, but consider what it means to the innocent. a third party that you are dragging into your existing mess. Is it fair to them that you are still obsessed with someone else and suppress your emotions? No.
Don’t be too hard on yourself if you’ve done it or are doing it right now. It may not even be an active choice. You are not a world famous artist whose job is to record all your experiences and thoughts for mass consumption, so you will be forgiven for not realizing that you are participating in your own “Bad Idea”.
“You wouldn’t know it at the time,” said one Brooklyn 39-year-old who admitted he had three relationship reunions. “There is more retrospective recognition. Even saying this now, I feel embarrassed that I belittled the people I was with because they were and were valuable and they had feelings, but now I see what I was doing and it was more about me than about them.
When someone else gives you everything they have, but you use them to forget someone else (or even make your ex jealous), the relationship doesn’t start out particularly honestly or great. However, that doesn’t mean it can’t work.
Can bounce relationships work?
Love stories come in all forms, which is why we can say that your recovery relationship is one terrible, brutal mistake. You may very well meet your ideal person while trying to heal yourself after breaking up with someone else. We’ve been rummaging through this article and haven’t heard from any source that has this story, but that doesn’t mean it can’t happen to you.
“I would never say that anything is out of the realm of possibility,” said the Brooklynite, who bounced repeatedly. “I think after a breakup you trust yourself a little less, and so it’s a problem, but it’s still possible.”
For the best shot in this job, be honest. It’s humiliating and indecent to talk about your ex when you’re first dating someone new, but you should still tactfully explain that you just got out of a relationship and you might be in pain for a while. If your new partner is kind and understanding, this is a good sign. Do not hide the fact that they met you at a time when you were really experiencing it. This will only lead to confusion, especially on days when you feel down or are reminded of your former crush. Being completely honest is the best option, especially if you’re still in contact with your ex. Let’s say you’re currently at the stage where you’re giving them back all the stuff they had at your house, or you’re working through the details after a breakup. If you do not tell your new partner about this, you will start with secrets and lies, which are not the basis of a good relationship.
If you’re really just looking for someone to hang out with and hang out with to drown out or distract yourself, be honest. Don’t tell this new person that you want a relationship if you don’t or aren’t ready for it. Don’t let your grief become someone else’s grief.
Finally, if you and your ex not only still hang out, but hang out often or even date or date, take a step back. Be honest with yourself. Are you acting like an asshole towards this new person? Are you really ready to end your relationship with your old boyfriend? Is it really even over? The answers to these questions may be uncomfortable, but you must ask yourself and the person you are trying to reconnect with.
It may be in your best interest to spend some time alone after a breakup. Getting back into the groove of a relationship can be comforting, especially if you haven’t been single for a while, but there’s a lot to learn about yourself after the partnership is over and you’re on your own. Accept it. If you get better and learn how to survive alone, it will only help you in the future and reduce your chances that you will run into another heartache or cause it to someone else.