Make a 15-Minute Deal With Your Partner to Make Your Arguments More Manageable
Arguments are unavoidable in any relationship, but worst of all, when you say something so harsh, one of you retains a long-standing resentment – even after the argument is over. Agree with your partner that you don’t say anything that you two can’t get over within 15 minutes.
We’ve all heard that we can’t talk about things we regret in the heat of the moment, but NBC News manager and 35-year-old husband William Wright is taking a more hands-on approach. He explained that he and his wife never say anything so harsh that they cannot refuse it within 15 minutes. William explains that this is one of the reasons why their marriage lasted so long:
We both came to the conclusion that there is a threshold at which we acted mean to win the argument. The transition to the jugular vein, so to speak, led to long-term grievances, departures from the room, hours of boiling. This behavior can doom the union if it continues along this path. So we agreed to never do or say in the heat this minute that none of them can handle it in 15 minutes!
While it won’t solve every problem in the relationship, or even the one you’re arguing about, it won’t allow both of you to make the situation worse. Then, as you cool off, you can figure out how to calmly fix the situation without causing additional damage.
The 15 Minute Rule for Long-Term Relationships | Good People Project