Don’t End the Text With a Dot
Hello.
We need to talk.
In particular, we need to discuss the use of periods at the end of texts and instant messages. ( Again .)
Even though many of us use dots all day, every day we write emails, reports or articles, for some reason adding this little dot at the end of a text message changes the meaning from “this sentence is over” to “may maybe this friendship is over. ” But how can something so simple seem so passive-aggressive? To find out, we spoke with Gretchen McCulloch , an Internet linguist and author of the New York Times bestselling book, Because the Internet .
Why are we using periods at all?
When it comes to dots at the end of text messages, McCulloch invites us to take a step back and think about how we break up two different statements or sayings. In chat format – be it text messages, Slack, or another type of instant messaging – most people do this by sending a new message for each sentence, phrase, or utterance. But in paper communication, by default, thoughts and statements are separated by a period or an odd comma.
“We don’t always speak in full sentences — we speak in sentences,” says McCulloch. “Thus, in everyday writing, we are always looking for ways to break up statements that are not necessarily as ‘final’ as the period.” Someone uses a dash, someone likes the mysterious ellipsis at the end of a thought …
Does the use of a period in the text convey emotion?
McCulloch explains that when we end individual text messages by starting a new message, no additional emotion arises. “Since you have to send a message for the person to receive the message, sending it doesn’t make any difference other than ‘I sent this,’” she says.
As a result, when we end texts with periods – whether we are aware of it or intend to do so – it can add emotional meaning. The period does not have the same emotional impact when we write on paper; in this case, it’s just a standard way to break up different sentences. But in text messaging, dots take on additional connotations, McCulloch says, “because every time you do something other than the default, people tend to interpret it as [meaningful].”
In the case of a period at the end of a text message, we tend to interpret punctuation marks as expressing seriousness, formality, or a drop in pitch. “So where aggression or passive aggressiveness comes from is when that seriousness conflicts with the message being conveyed,” explains McCulloch. She offers an example of sending a message that says, “I feel terrible.” The use of a period at the end of the message confirms the fact that you feel terrible. Or if you wrote to someone “I just don’t know.” By ending this message with a full stop, it lets the person know that you are really sad and really confused.
The risk of sounding passive-aggressive comes, McCulloch says, when you say something in a text message, usually positive, but put that “seriousness marker” – a full stop – at the end. Consider the following texts:
“IN ORDER!”
“IN ORDER”
“IN ORDER.”
According to McCulloch, a message that ends with an exclamation mark means that the person sending the message is thrilled to be reaching out to the recipient. A message without punctuation marks is neutral. But ending this message with a dot takes a “severity marker” and attaches it to a word that is usually considered a positive or neutral affirmative answer. This can lead us to interpret the message as passive-aggressive.
Why does our brain do this to us? What is the use of this unnecessary worry? McCulloch says confusion arises when we use dots in single-statement messages that don’t need dots to do this function. (For example, the text “OK” above.) In these cases, we have the option of ending the message with something that conveys excitement or positiveness (for example, an exclamation mark!), Or simply remove punctuation completely, making it neutral. The conscious decision to end a text with a dot when there is no other requirement, “people experience these ‘feelings’ under certain circumstances, which is a passive-aggressive period,” McCulloch says.
Sometimes you can use a period in the text.
At the same time, McCulloch says that dot-ending isn’t always passive-aggressive – it really depends on the context. For example, if you are sending a message containing several sentences, the dots are neutral because they are used to separate sentences. In addition, some people always end the text with periods out of habit and mean nothing by it; therefore, when read in context, their periods will appear routine rather than unusual. In other words, there is no hard and fast rule that dots at the end of text are hostile by default.
Does this mean that we should be overly cautious and aware of the use of periods at the end of texts and instant messages? Not necessary. This is something to think about if you want to make sure you’re communicating clearly, but we already have a lot to worry about. Thank you.
This article was originally published in May 2020. It was updated on May 25, 2021 with revised examples and aligned with current Lifehacker style guidelines.