Stop Playing Victim With Your Time Management and Take Control
When it comes to managing their time, many people feel like they are receiving a huge amount of requests that make them a victim of their circumstances. “ There is always too much to do. Everyone just keeps working on me. “ Sounds familiar? If so, then you are not alone, but you should stop pretending to be a victim and take matters into your own hands.
This post was originally published in the Harvard Business Review .
They see outside forces as the reason why they don’t have time to play sports, they can’t quit work in a reasonable time, or they just try their best to get everything done. While there are sometimes situations that are beyond your control – such as a recent flu attack – most of the time they are not. And while it can be nice to blame others for your situation in the short term, this attitude towards the investment of time will leave you truly powerless in the long run.
When you play the victim with your time, everything suffers. You are constantly on the verge of interacting with other people because you are afraid that they will put one more thing on your already heavy burden. Because you don’t believe that you will ever be able to say no, your yes comes from a sense of duty and resentment, not a sincere commitment. Because your situation seems so difficult, you do not try to plan or work more efficiently because you believe that you will have to work all the time, no matter what, and you are convinced that it is impossible to do everything. Eventually you stop trying because you believe, no matter how hard you try, you won’t succeed.
As a time coach, I have seen that people often have a much greater ability to influence their situation than they think. But a breakthrough only happens when they begin to show their personal strength instead of waiting for something around them to change. It’s like having people in debt blaming credit card companies instead of admitting they had a choice to spend more money than they had. Only by accepting that they can – and that they should – change, and then taking the appropriate steps, can this balance drop.
To get rid of this victim mentality, you need to stop blaming others and instead take responsibility for your time and change yourself. Here are three practical steps to take back control of your time.
Remember how you react
Become aware of how you react when your time is not aligned with your priorities. Are you always looking for someone to blame? My boss always gives me too much to do. Do you feel sorry for yourself? Poor me, another busy day. I’ll take ice cream to feel better. Do you reject advice or suggestions? How dare my wife suggest that I work differently so that I can return home earlier? This is simply not possible. Have you ever said no to a new project? Have you ever set boundaries? Have you ever asked for support?
You need to take time to reflect on how you react, and think about how your reactions and expectations can shape the situation .
Understand your role and responsibilities
Understand that you are the decision maker when it comes to investing your time. There are certain situations where you just have to do what it takes to get something done in a short amount of time. This could be when you are nearing a major deadline, preparing for a new product launch, or preparing annual reports. But overloading shouldn’t be the norm. It’s not everyone else’s fault if you have too much to do and don’t tell anyone about it . This is yours.
Even at the top consulting firms known for their tight work schedules, there is room for open discussion of timing. For example, the Boston Consulting Group has established an official global program called PTO (Predictability, Connectivity, and Open Communication) that helps set priorities and leisure time goals for each team member. One of the components of this program is team members working together so that they each have a period of time each week when they are not fully involved in the project. To make this happen, teams conduct weekly reviews, during which they communicate their feelings and the value they bring to customers. Each person is aware of their role in communicating their needs openly and honestly, rather than expecting others to automatically know when they are overwhelmed. You must take the same responsibility in your organization for your own time, even if you do not have a formal program to encourage you to do so.
Commit to change and take responsibility
Regardless of how you have behaved in the past in certain situations or with specific people, you have the opportunity to change the future. Make a commitment to change; choose to respond to your surroundings instead of just accepting whatever comes your way.
Instead of becoming a victim, take responsibility for the situation and your time. This might sound like a utterance when you feel like someone is making an unreasonable request so you don’t get overwhelmed. Keep a list of projects handy when you go to meetings so that if a new project is proposed, you can assess its importance in relation to your other commitments. If there seems to be insufficient time for a new job, offer to discuss the priorities during the meeting, or discuss it later with the relevant parties.
Also, set clear rules and boundaries so you don’t take on too much. For example, if you manage employees who tend to turn in at the last minute because of a lot of mistakes, ask them to turn in early. This allows you to send them back so they can make corrections instead of doing them yourself because you are on a very tight deadline.
Finally, if you are in a situation where it is not possible to set more precise boundaries (for example, at work, where you call 24/7) and you find that time investment problems are unmanageable, you may have to consider whether you want to at the right job. There are some positions that will not create a sustainable lifestyle for you, no matter how hard you try. It’s okay to decide to leave.
By taking responsibility for your timing, you will stop wasting energy blaming others and will begin to channel it toward a productive response to the people and situations around you. With this focus, you will have ample time for what matters most to you.
Stop wasting time on sacrifice | Harvard Business Review