You Don’t Have to Hate Yourself to Motivate Change.
Self-improvement is a positive thing. But it is often motivated by self-loathing, and it can hinder lasting change. Approach your growth with a more optimistic mindset.
When your desire to change comes from a pessimistic perspective, you are more likely to create obstacles for yourself. Zen Habits explains:
I know that many people will immediately say, “But what’s wrong with wanting to improve, seeing things that need to be improved? Doesn’t feeling bad motivate us to change? ” Yes, it can be a motivator. But feeling unwell can also be an obstacle: for example, people who think they are fat are more likely to eat poorly and not exercise because they think they are fat. They are likely to treat themselves badly and take comfort in food, alcohol, cigarettes, television, internet addiction.
They ask the question: Is your change coming from self-loathing or from a place of acceptance? They go on to explain that acceptance does not mean stagnation. Often times, accepting who you are can really help you change because you know what you are working with instead of denying and working against yourself.
This all sounds very rash, but it makes sense. Many of us find it easier to achieve something when we feel good. Pressure, stress, and feelings of out-of-control often fail to bring about lasting change.
Whether it works for you or not, it serves as a good reminder: you don’t have to hate yourself to make a difference. To view the entire publication, click on the link below.
Unconditional acceptance of yourself | Zen habits