Build Friendships Faster by Sharing Secrets
As you get older, it becomes more difficult to make new friends . However, you can help yourself by discovering and sharing secrets with someone you think might be interested in friendship.
Making new friends is a weird song and dance, like dating. You don’t want to be too needy, but you also want them to know that you are interested in meeting them. A recent study by Stony Brook University psychology professor Arthur Aron and published in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin suggests that divulging a secret to someone you know can help you navigate the path to friendship much faster than usual. In their study, researchers found evidence that relationship building can be accelerated by avoiding forced small talk and using self-disclosure to build trust and understanding.
Of course, you don’t want to run around and share your deepest and darkest secrets with strangers. You just want to open up and help them see more of who you really are as a person, especially if you have something to share that is relevant to your current situation. Maybe admit that you’ve never tasted the drink they sip, or that you think that playing a pop song is actually your fault. They will feel like you trust them and are also more likely to open up. The next time you meet someone you seem to get along with, share a secret about something close. You can just find a new friend.
Experimental Creation of Interpersonal Intimacy | Journal of the Bulletin of Personality and Social Psychology, presented by the American Psychological Association.