How to Maintain a Healthy Relationship With Porn
Pornography has been around since man first discovered how to paint naked people on cave walls, and we’ve argued for so long about whether it’s good for your health. I doubt we’ll ever come to a consensus on the consequences of porn use, but there are some more simple guidelines you can follow if you want to improve your relationship with porn.
Moderation practice
This is perhaps the most important suggestion I can make: when it comes to porn, it is difficult to define addiction or draw a clear line between healthy and unhealthy behavior. The best thing you can do is moderation.
Experiment by setting rules for yourself based on your porn consumption habits and your specific concerns. Here are some examples:
- Alternate masturbation sessions to allow porn once and avoid next time.
- Set a 30 minute timer for yourself so you don’t get distracted from video after video.
- Only watch porn on weekends.
- Only watch porn with your partner.
There is no single right answer, and some may be more effective for you than others, but setting some guidelines may help.
Take a break from time to time.
Even if you’re relatively comfortable with your pornographic habits, it’s still a good idea to take regular porn breaks. Moving away from RedTube from time to time will give you the opportunity to assess your habits more objectively and make the necessary changes to your behavior.
It’s also great to take breaks when you feel like your porn viewing addictions are out of control. If you find yourself watching more porn than you’d like to admit, try taking a break of two to four weeks. Use apps like Self Control if you don’t trust your willpower.
You may also find that taking regular breaks from watching porn can increase your desire for sex. For some men, porn makes real-life sex less attractive or seductive . If you notice this effect, this is another reason to reconsider your habits.
Look for variety
Many people tend to watch the same porn over and over again. I enjoy encouraging my clients to broaden their horizons and even try to watch porn in genres they never thought would be for them. This is a good way to explore your sexuality and find out more about what you like. It can also start a conversation with your partner about the types of behaviors you would like to incorporate into your sex life (“Do you enjoy cock and egg torture? Well, damn it, I do too!”). There is so much to explore, so why limit yourself to woman-woman-man threesomes?
Pay attention to your body
A lot of people switch off while masturbating to porn and don’t really pay attention to their bodies. This can lead to a severing relationship with your body, which in turn can lead to things like less orgasm control (the less attention you pay, the easier it is for the point of no return to sneak up on you). Try to view porn as an addition to your masturbation sessions, rather than the star of the show. Take breaks while watching to look away from the screen and down at your body. Or try closing your eyes and really feel the sensation of touching yourself.
Recognize when you are doing it for the wrong reasons
There are many motivations for people to watch porn. Some of them are simple and obvious: “I’m horny,” while others are more complex. Many men use porn as a way to calm emotions such as anger, sadness, frustration, or loneliness. Some men have relied on porn for so long to regulate their emotions that they don’t even realize they are turning to it for these reasons. You don’t want porn to be your only survival mechanism, nor do you want to make it harder for you to define how you feel.
If you suspect that you may have used porn in the past for less important reasons, try this simple technique: Every time you feel the urge to watch porn, ask yourself, “How do I really feel right now? Is there something I don’t want to pay attention to or acknowledge? »If you notice something is approaching you, try another way to fix the problem, such as going for a run or talking to a friend. Or try to establish a basic rule for yourself that you will only watch porn in a good mood.
Incorporate porn into your relationship
No matter how positively you feel about porn, it’s hard to deny that porn destroys many relationships. I get so many emails from people who complain that their partner is not making any effort to have a sex life together, but is watching porn alone all the time. It’s understandable – after all, people and relationships are much more difficult than jailbreaking a laptop – but it still hurts. It’s perfectly okay to have your own personal relationship with porn, but you also need to be sure not to cut your partner out for porn use.
