Why Trying to Be “authentic” at Work Can Hold You Back
You were probably asked, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” a thousand times in childhood. Young people are often advised to make a career decision early and then follow that idea, and after years of listening to the same advice, you’ve probably envisioned your future professional life – what kind of job you will have, what kind of leader you will be. – and now you are working in the opposite direction to get that desired life that you have dreamed of for so long. But this thought process can be a professional trap that limits your options.
This post was originally published on Fast Company .
When you think you’ve got it all figured out, here’s another tip: forget what you think you know about the job you should be doing and who you are professionally. Thinking like that will lead you into a trap, ”says Erminia Ibarra , a leadership expert and professor at INSEAD .
“You really don’t know what you have to do to lead if you haven’t,” she tells us. “I think people are too passionate about and fixated on what they ideally do and what they want to work on when they should just say, ‘Here are a couple of situations in which I would like to be more effective, how do I start with this and work around the edges of this? “
According to Ibarra, author of Act Like a Leader, Think Like a Leader , as you take on more responsibilities at work, you are encouraged to be sincere and truthful, but it can be challenging if your future is not yet shaped. … … Below, she shares tips for managers and leaders on how to let your leadership style evolve and reveal your true future self.
Stop trying to identify yourself
When you struggle to stay true to yourself, especially as a leader, Ibarra says that you end up focusing your time and energy on what you really know well and fall into this “authenticity trap” that prevents you from growing.
“I work a lot with leaders who find themselves in situations that make them feel uncomfortable and unnatural,” she says. “We often resort to authenticity to stay in our comfort zone.” This way of thinking eventually becomes a limiting factor because you end up working the same way year after year. If you say that you are a special person, you excuse yourself for acting or seeing opposing views.
“We have many selves, many roles and many opportunities, and the different selves of some people are more loosely connected to each other than others. For some people, the concept of authenticity has to do with what lies at the heart, ”continues Ibarra. “For some people, the essence is something abstract and may have something to do with moral principles. For others, it is something that can be really huge and can include things like how I dress, how I walk and how I speak. ”
Whatever your definition of “I”, the error lies in its definition. How can you stay true to your true self if you don’t give yourself a real chance to grow and develop?
People are addicted to introspection because introspection is necessary to be healthy and happy. The problem is that if you constantly analyze your emotional and mental processes – especially when you are moving into a new professional position or an unfamiliar role – introspection can become bad. In her book, Ibarra writes that 50% of managers she interviews admit that their leadership style sometimes gets in the way of their success.
“A lot of the time, introspection just keeps you paralyzed and analyzed,” she says. “Often with introspection, people are very fixated and think: ‘I’m good at this, I’m not at this’ and do not try at all.”
Instead, the professor suggests being “more playful” about who you are. “You don’t have to be extroverted or great at first impressions,” she explains, and you should be okay with doing things differently from your usual routine, especially when you’re in charge.
“You don’t get a different result by repeating the same thing over and over,” she says.
Change from outside to inside, not from within
According to Ibarra, what you learn from the outside is much more valuable than what you learn from the inside. It is only through external vision – the external perspective gained through direct experience and experimentation – that you can develop the way the best leaders do. It will help you know what other people are thinking, where you should be spending the most time, what relationships are most important to you, and, ultimately, you will become a more self-aware, purposeful, true leader.
To become a leader of this type, Ibarra advises diving into new territories, interacting with different people, and experimenting with new ways to achieve your goal. These challenges will destroy the traditional ways that limit your options. Do all of this before you feel ready. At first you will feel insincere and imposter, but over time, you will change your vision of yourself. Your evolution will come from your relationships with other people who, according to psychologists, “internalize your leadership identity.”
“Really look at other people, especially if you find people you respect or admire and watch them … often it’s about getting yourself to do things that don’t come naturally,” she says.
Ibarra writes in his book:
“Our thinking is very difficult to change because change requires experience in what we are least likely to do. Without the advantage of an outside-in approach to change, our self-perceptions and therefore our habitual patterns of thinking and acting are rigidly shielded by the past. Nobody classifies us better than ourselves. The paradox of change is that the only way to change the way we think is to do what our habitual thinking prevents us from doing. ”
In addition, according to Ibarr, one of the biggest mistakes people make in stopping their growth is having an “innate” network. The only way to think more strategically and cross-functionally is to establish different relationships with different people.
“[People] talk and talk to the same people, the same suspects, and usually they are people who share the same points of view, the same interests, the same ideas,” she explains. “[People] are very shielded from other ways of thinking. It stops you from growing because one of the biggest influences on your growth is your network, the different communities you belong to, the different people you exchange and do things … this is a huge influence on who you are. become. “
Of course, sometimes people know exactly who they want to be and it makes sense to explore that in their personal lives , but if you want to lead at a higher level and develop your best potential, then you won’t know who that future person is. will be in advance.
The best leaders are those who admit they don’t yet know how to fulfill the role they are in, so they research and experiment and don’t mind tweaking and repeating. This is the secret of revealing your true, authentic future self.
Why “being authentic” is holding you back | Fast Company