Avoid the Ugly Battle by Arguing for the Other Person’s Side
Arguing in a relationship is natural, but in many cases it is easy to prevent an argument with a little empathy. The next time your partner does something that bothers you, try arguing from their perspective before discussing your argument.
This is what I have learned to do in my own relationships. When I’m under stress, I’m very easily annoyed by what my partner does or doesn’t do. Not getting enough help around the house is a common annoyance, especially as I like to keep things neat and clean, especially when I’m stressed. In the heat of a sensation, it’s easy to explode without caring about his side at all. This often turns into a really stupid fight.
When I feel annoyed, I first try to argue his point of view before raising something. Maybe he really does quite a lot of housework. Maybe right now this just isn’t enough for me because I have a ton on my plate and I feel overwhelmed. Most of the time, I understand that he is right (even before he had a chance to do so). It makes me more empathetic, and it’s an easy way to avoid a fight. In this example, instead of approaching the situation, you are not doing enough here , I would probably approach this, I am overwhelmed at work, could you help a little more around the house today ?
Of course, this is mostly useful for those minor squabbles that are inevitable when you live with someone and deal with their quirks on a daily basis. Sometimes there are deeper problems in a relationship that should be addressed better than this. And you, of course, have to be careful not to make excuses if your partner is insulting in some way.
But I found this little trick to help curb your complaint about these controversial things that irritate my nerves.