Label Your Emotions to Better Deal With Them
We all have emotional reactions that we know are not rational or productive. This does not prevent them from interrupting our lives. To keep them in check, give these reactions their own names and determine when a familiar melody begins to sound.
As the blog Barking Up the Wrong Tree points out, identifying when a familiar answer is playing in your head can help normalize it. Instead of assuming that your external circumstances are entirely to blame for your frustrating reaction, you can accept that your anger, fear, or bitterness is part of your normal reaction. Once you know how your brain will react, you can deal with your own reactions separately:
Instead of shying away, arguing, or distracted (which can lead to you continuing to struggle with these ideas), acknowledge the thoughts. Pay attention to them. You are not avoiding your thoughts. You acknowledge them … and then pay attention to your feelings again. To your breath. To the feeling of a chair under your ass. To the person next to you. For thoughts that continue to sound like a hardwired record, try tagging them. Siegel suggests giving this thought a funny name that oversimplifies it: oh, this “won’t work” tape is playing in my head again.
Of course, admitting your emotions doesn’t have to mean ignoring them. It simply means admitting strongly how you will react. Sometimes external circumstances require a strong emotional response. Sometimes little things can confuse us. By recognizing, when you have answers, how rare or common your feelings are, and identifying them separately from your circumstances, you can better judge whether you are applying the right thinking to a situation.
How To Stop Worrying | Bark on the wrong tree