How Not to Lose Competitive Games
Nobody likes hurtful losers. The fact that you have lost a board game, video game, or even a HORSE game does not mean that you should be losing to other people. Here are some tips for staying cool when things go wrong.
Even if you’re an adult, it’s only natural to get caught up in the heat of competition. When this happens, even the most mature of us can start acting like a child again, pouting and throwing tantrums. There is nothing wrong with wanting to win, but losing will surely come to you in the end, so keep that in mind the next time it happens to you.
Congratulate the winner immediately
Even if you grit your teeth when you say it, congratulating the winner is a great way to distract yourself and look like a graceful loser right away. A simple handshake, or “well done,” turns your attention completely to them. That way, if you need to inflate, you can do it yourself without drawing undue attention.
Whether you blame the game, your opponent, or your teammates, you’re guaranteed to get all the attention in the worst case scenario. Train yourself to be the first thing that comes out of your mouth to make congratulations, even if it doesn’t sound as sincere as it might at first. Practice this whenever a loss comes your way, and you will see how much easier it is for yourself to do it. Who knows? Depending on the circumstances, you may even start enjoying other people’s victories. If you can’t bring yourself to congratulate them for any reason (maybe you’re playing an online game or something), just don’t say anything.
Think about the consequences of the real world (or lack thereof)
Sometimes you just need to get distracted from the game . However, when you are a competitive person, nothing in the world matters except for the game taking place right in front of you. You want to prove that you are the best and deserve respect. This kind of thinking is hard to shake because it is ingrained in your personality, but it can really help you when things go wrong.
To get rid of this mentality of “do or die», GeekInsight of Giant Fire Breathing Robot recommends to start thinking about what would mean victory or defeat on the sidelines:
.. after losing a lot of games and losing at least as much (or more) than I won, I realized something: winning literally means nothing . I didn’t get more salary, more respect from my friends, more admiration from my girlfriend, or a fashionable vacation prize. It was completely irrelevant. And, perhaps more importantly, the loss is also pointless. I used to see loss as a personal defeat. As if that meant that I was not smart or capable, but that does not mean at all.
So when you feel like you start to get too stressed, stop for a moment and take a deep breath. Ask yourself what victory or defeat will mean for you tomorrow, or even in a few hours. As Psychology Today’s Eileen Kennedy-Moore explains , the key to coping with win or lose is knowing that both are temporary states. Unless you are in the middle of a fight for the title of champion or something, your victory or defeat will probably mean very little to you in a very short amount of time. Give yourself a minute to accept things and move on.
Get rid of the situation if there is too much of it
It is always better to say nothing than to say – or do – something that you later regret. If your anger is raging inside, leave the table, put down the controller, get up from the table, or sit on a bench. It won’t always look good to others, but it will look better than waving your arms and yelling. In fact, as Izzy Kalman of Bullies2Buddies explains , really sick losers lose twice:
You lose once when you lose the game. When you get angry, you lose a second time, because then you look and feel like a failure to everyone who sees you . Which is better: a single loss or a double loss? So if you lose the game, cut your losses. Do not be angry.
It can be embarrassing to throw a tantrum in front of people, especially when you cool off and have the opportunity to look back. Count to 10, take a few deep breaths, and imagine what it would look like to others if you get angry before reacting to your loss.
Practice being a graceful winner
A graceful winner will also help you not be an evil loser. If you can avoid gloating or gossip when you happen to win, the people you are playing against will likely respond with the same respect . However, if you act like a moron when you win, you are setting yourself up for a very painful loss. The next time you lose, you will not only have to come to terms with the loss itself, but also with the sweet retribution that your opponent is likely to want to rub in your face.
It may sound a little silly, but positive athletic prowess is very easily passed on to people. If you can set a good example by winning and losing gracefully, other people tend to notice and do the same. You will always come across assholes and trolls who only want to upset you (especially online), but if you can get around them, you have the opportunity to show how much more fun the games are when everyone sticks together.
Remember why you play to start
Remember, the whole point of playing and playing sports is that you enjoy them. It’s okay to be competitive, and no one has ever said you need to enjoy losing, but it’s important to put things in perspective. Winnings and losses are only very small parts of the experience. Just because you lost does not mean that the whole game was bad. Think about all the good things that happened and how you enjoyed it up to this point.
Most importantly, you will learn to fail. This is the same as learning to put up with failure . Loss is an opportunity to learn, become better, and prove to others that loss does not overwhelm you. Losing is painful because we are afraid that others will lose respect for us and our abilities, but if you can accept your loss calmly, you will always receive respect, no matter what.