How to Talk to Someone Who Doesn’t Make Eye Contact
When it comes to public speaking, there are some tips we hear over and over again: Know your audience. Come prepared. Eye contact.
Okay, great, but for various reasons, not everyone can make eye contact when addressing a group or talking one-on-one. And given the fact that we’ve spent the last year locked up at home and communicating with people through our computer screens, even those who used to be comfortable looking in the eyes may take a minute to get used to it again.
But what if you’re talking to someone who doesn’t make eye contact? Should you push through and keep looking them in the eye, or follow their example and look elsewhere? In a recent article in the Huffington Post, Caroline Bologna spoke with communications experts to learn how to deal with tricky eye contact situations.
Tips for talking to someone who doesn’t make eye contact
Before getting into details, let’s acknowledge that not all cultures have the same rules and standards when it comes to eye contact.
“We place a lot of emphasis on eye contact, especially in American culture,” psychotherapist Annette Nunez told the Huffington Post . And since it is not always possible to study a person and his biography before talking to him, if in doubt, follow his example.
Other tips for talking to someone who doesn’t make eye contact, discussed in the Bologna article, include:
- Don’t take it personally if the person you’re talking to doesn’t look you in the eye.
- Approach the conversation with kindness and empathy.
- Adapt the other person’s speaking style (including eye contact or lack of eye contact).
- Instead of sitting face to face, change the setting and / or position of the conversation, for example while walking or viewing the same document.
- Know if you are monopolizing the conversation (and don’t).
In general, be patient and kind and keep living with it.